To Have and To Hold
by Hallow Eve
Summary: Mustang is getting married to a seemingly perfect woman. But she has some conflict involving Edward. If Roy dislikes her so much, then why is he marrying her? Yaoi. RoyxEd. Rewritten/edited. CHAPTER TWENTY UP! In other words, UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

Title: To Have and To Hold

Summary:Mustang is getting married to a seemingly perfect woman. But she has some conflict involving Edward. If Roy hates her so much, why is he marrying her?

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Don't rub it in.

Warnings: I may not be allowed to curse, but Ed sure as hell is. Yaoi. RoyxEd. Rated T.

This story is dedicated to my friend anime-raven who helped nuture my love of FMA and helped with this story. Thanks, Holly :)

----------------------

To Have and To Hold Prologue

---------------------

Whenever Edward dreamt he had nightmares. During the year he had spent recovering from his automail surgery at Aunt Pinako's and Winry's he had nightmares whenever he was able to sleep. Usually he stayed awake, vomiting from the intense pain and more than once crying himself into fitful bouts of sleep. Most of the time he dreamt of the day he and Alphonse had attempted the transmutation. He saw, over and over again, Al's worried face as he hesitantly asked his brother if what they were going to do was right. And, every other time, he heard his confident voice telling Al that there was nothing to worry about and that soon Mom would be with them once again and that they'd live happily together.

The perfect storybook ending that any child would wish for. Happily ever after.

How wrong he was.

He put his hands to the circle, watching in wonder as the room filled with white gold-tinted light. The light changed, turning to purple tinted with black.

"Brother, what's happening?"

Al's terrified, pained screams filled the air and as Edward turned to his rapidly disintegrating brother he felt his leg disappearing. He reached toward Al but was too late. His fingers closed on air as he toppled forward, his stump of a leg gushed dark spurts of blood. In a split second of thought, he crawled toward the suit of armor in the corner of the room. Using his own blood he drew a circle similar to one he'd seen in a book somewhere.

Screaming at whatever force had taken his brother, whether The Truth or the non-existent God Ed never believed in, he clapped his hands together, lightly touching the blood rune and screamed as he felt his other arm disappear completely…

He usually woke up screaming and holding back tears. He refused to cry because he knew he deserved his pain for what he had done to his brother. And Edward never had a "good" dream after that night.

Until he met the sadistic bastard that was Roy Mustang.

He could still remember even three years later the exact moment they met....

_"You can call me Roy Mustang, or just Lieutenant Colonel. Hell, you can call me the Flame Alchemist. Whatever you do, remember the pain."_

_Edward gazed in awe of the man who'd just torched Bald with a snap of his fingers._

_" So he's Mustang," Edward said aloud. __That bastard had known. _

_Ed ran forward, placing himself in front of Mustang, ignoring his brother's cry. _

_"Hey," he yelled, hoping to get the man's attention. It worked; Roy looked from Bald to Ed and Ed tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as he did so. _

_"You knew. That's why you made us take this train. You put us at risk on purpose," he spat hatefully, daring him to deny it._

_ He heard Mustang give a short laugh, which only pissed him off further before replying. "Come on, Ed," Ed shivered slightly when he heard his name. "You think I have I've got the whole world on strings? Anyway, you should focus on the good news here. The General heard about your exploits saving the train, and agreed to make a special exception. He's letting you take the State Alchemy exam. You're going to be the talk of the military, kid."_

_"Exception?" Edward asked, confused. "But you always said we could take it! That's the reason we came!" he yelled in disbelief, his finger still pointing at the man, his eyes widened slightly in horror. _

_"Be realistic, Ed," Mustang's tone sounded as he was explaining something really simple to someone really stupid, but there was laughter there as well. "The State's never let a kid take the military exam before. But I guess luck's on your side. Good thing you took that earlier train, don't you think?"_

_Edward put hand to his forehead, hiding his eyes and asking whatever God was up there for patience. _

_He could hear Mustang's footsteps approaching him and suddenly felt a warm hand rest on his shoulder. "Whether or not you take the test is still up to you. I'm not trying to run your life," he said, taking his hand back and leaving a tingling sensation behind as he walked away._

_ Ed turned around, furious. "Of course I'll take it! And pass! I would've done it anyway!" _

_Part of Ed was hoping that if he yelled hard enough he could forget just how handsome the Lieutenant Colonel was and why his heart was suddenly racing._

Now whenever Edward closed his eyes, that same scene was all he saw as though it was a piece of film waiting to start.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Of course I'll take it!" Edward yelled at the retreating mans back. "I would've done it any-" _

"Brother," Alphonse whispered, hoping his brother would wake up. It happened every morning_. _Alphonse would come in every morning to wake Edward up for work even though Ed said he could get himself up. But Al didn't trust him, not even if he had an alarm clock. Al knew he'd only break it and then try to get back to sleep.

"Brother, it's time for work."

It was in vain, Edward only groaned and turned his back to his younger brother.

"Brother, get up!" Al said exasperatedly, yanking the covers off of Ed. Edward sat up yawning and stretching.

"'Morning," Ed mumbled sleepily as he jumped off the bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Hurry or you'll be late!" Al yelled over the sound of the shower.

Ed was so used to dreaming about the man that he didn't even question it anymore though if you asked him why he wouldn't be able to tell you. Not that he cared much right now as he gave a sigh and stepped into the warm spray of water. He just wasn't a morning person.

Thirty minutes later and Edward found himself rushing around their small apartment, grabbing his pocket watch and throwing on his red jacket, a piece of toast dangling from his mouth, and his hair, still wet, cascading down his back rather than in its usual braid. Saying a muffled goodbye to Alphonse he darted out the door. Relishing in the thought that he wouldn't have to put up with this for long he raced down the street to Headquarters.

Usually he wouldn't even have bothered to come into 'work' for the military. He would rather be off hunting for the Philosophers Stone with his brother. But Al and he had been into Central to do more research and, possibly, take a bit of a course, as soon as he'd gotten there Mustang had a proposal for him. If Ed agreed to come into work for two whole days and fill out paperwork ( paperwork that Mustang himself should have been doing) he would give Edward one week off.

This didn't appeal much to him at first seeing as he had never been in to work much before and was usually looking for the Stone, but when he had told Al his little brother had been ecstatic about it, saying that they could take a break from everything and have fun together.

So Ed had rented a small apartment nearby for the week he was supposedly going to enjoy.

'_Just think of it as a vacation,'_ Mustang had said.

Some vacation, Ed thought bitterly as he ran up the path between the fountain and the trees. He stopped for a moment on the stairs to collect himself. Panting, he crammed the rest of the toast into his mouth, wiping the crumbs away hastily. Composing himself as best he could, Ed walked through the grand double doors into the reception room. He casually walked over to the receptionist desk where Sheska sat talking on the phone and looking as though she'd rather disappear off the face of the earth than be where she was now. After Hughes was killed she was promoted to a secretary, though anyone could tell she was miserable even with the pay raise.

Not even looking up she waved whoever was there to take a seat. Edward let out a little indignant huff and stood next to her desk waiting for her full attention.

" I'm sorry, sir," the brunette was saying miserably into the phone, " I don't know how they keep getting in."

She paused for a second to listen to the reply of the other person. " I know , sir . I've been trying!"

Edward took this time to take in her appearance. Whatever Sheska had been trying it was obviously wearing on her. Her hair was ruffled and her glasses were in danger of sliding of her nose. The sleeve of her uniform was torn along the seam.

She winced as the other line started screaming and even Ed could hear what the person was saying.

_" Try harder! I don't want another single girl to get in here or your job will be on the line_!"

The brunette sighed gloomily as she hung up the phone and looked to her visitor.

"Good morning Edward!" she said a little too brightly.

"Good morning," he responded cautiously.

" What can I do for you?"

" I need to know where I can find that bastard Colonel's office." Edward already knew where Mustang's office was but he was obligated to ask and show his I.D. so that she knew he was in the military.

" Your qualification?" she questioned, her tone strictly business. The blonde reached into his pocket and grabbed his watch laying in on the desk in front of her. Sheska picked up the watch and examined it carefully before handing back to him. "Third floor, sir."

"Thanks," he said, starting down the hallway.

" Edward," Sheska said hesitantly.

"Hm?"

"Be careful."

" What?"

" Nothing," she said, shaking her head. Ed shrugged and continued down the hallway. He climbed the two flights of stairs quickly, wanting to get the torture over with.

When he reached the third floor he received a surprise. At the end of the hallway a crowd of women were standing, crying and banging on the door, screaming to be let in. Some of the girls appeared to be only a little older than Edward himself and all of them were blonde with the exception of one or two brunettes. Some of them were asking 'why' through their tears.

Confused, Ed stayed away from the group for a moment before fighting his way through them, reaching the door as fast as possible while trying to keep the others away, he knocked and shouted to be let in or else. The door opened and before the blond could even blink a hand was gripping the front of his shirt and he was being dragged through the door which was slammed behind him, cutting off the girl's pleas.

Ed stared at the scene he was presented with.

Roy Mustang's office was filled to the brim with people. All of them were wearing military uniforms except a group of women who were standing in the corner of the room and obviously belonged to the group outside, having somehow managed to fight their way in. They were sobbing and trying to console one another at the same time.

The rest of the room was filled with men, some of which Edward recognized as having seen in the hallway but didn't know the names of. Havoc was standing right next to the door beside Ed, practically dancing with happiness and letting out joyous yells. Breda and Fuery were standing beside him, clapping and looking amusedly at Havoc. Beside them stood Hawkeye who was gazing at Havoc with disdain and looking as though she'd love nothing more than to draw her gun on him.

Edward's gaze was drawn to the Colonel's desk which the man himself was standing in front of. Above him hung a white banner scrawling the length of the room and in gold elegant writing spelled 'congratulations'.

Hanging off of his arm was the most beautiful woman Edward had ever seen. She had a pale heart-shaped face and narrow black eyes that reminded Ed of Mustang's. They somehow seemed dimmer in comparison though. Her waist length black hair was perfectly trimmed and when she turned her head he could see that her hair was held back by a large blue butterfly beret. She was wearing the usual military uniform and the shortest military skirt Ed had ever seen.

The blonde's eyes narrowed and planted themselves firmly on Mustang, every once in a while darting to the woman clinging to his arm.

"What's going on here?" he asked slowly.

Havoc spun around to face him and draped his arm over the blonde's shoulders.

" The Colonel's finally getting married!" he said excitedly. With those few words Edward felt his heart stop.

"Guess that leaves all the girls to you and me, huh squirt?" he continued jokingly, elbowing Ed in the ribs. Ed would usually respond to the jab at his height but kept uncharacteristically silent.

Mustang gave Edward a smile, but it seemed forced. Edward didn't even notice. Instead he focused his attention on the black haired girl, who giggled and disengaged herself from Roy to saunter over to Edward.

" Hello," she said, sickly sweet, " My name is Marionette Rosemary Shrewsbury. My Grandfather is General Shrewsbury. I've heard _so_ much about you." The whole room seemed to be holding its breath waiting to see how Ed would react. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. A really large and very sharp knife.

Edward merely stared at her extended hand. She clearly expected him to do the polite thing and kiss the back of it. Instead, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room ,deliberately letting the door stay open longer than he should have so some of the crazed sobbing women could push past him before, slamming it behind him.

The blonde could hear the ensuing chaos that he'd unleashed as he walked down the hall.

It should have made him happy.

It should have made him laugh.

But instead he walked quickly back down the stairs, his vision starting to blur.

He raced down the second and first floor hallway and down the stairs ignoring the shouts from people he bumped into as he ran blindly by. Only slowing as he got outside, he kept up a fast pace and kept on walking even when he developed a painful stitch in his side. Occasionally he would speed up, hoping to put enough distance between himself and the building.

Screw his so called 'vacation' and screw Mustang, he thought viciously.

Eventually he stopped in the park and bent over, putting his hands on his knees, his hair falling across his face as he tried to catch his breath. He wandered around aimlessly after that, not even caring how much time had passed, until he came upon the National Library First Branch which had been rebuilt and updated since it was burned down.

He vaguely recalled that Sheska had told him once that it was actually a good thing the building had burned down because the military had been wanting to remodel it for some time but hadn't had the time or the money to do it with. The rebuilt version was larger and even though there weren't nearly enough books to fill it with because of the fire they somehow still gathered an impressive amount of books that it could house.

Ed pushed the door open to the library and walked to a corner of the room, hiding between the bookshelves. Slumping down to the floor Edward wondered briefly why he was so upset.

Who cared if The Bastard was getting married?

But he still felt a deep ache where his heart was.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward bit his lip, trying to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes.

He was _not _going to cry. He hadn't cried for two years, no way in hell was he gonna start now. He didn't deserve to.

Why the hell was this effecting him so much?

He bit down harder on his lip.

What did he care if that bastard got married?

His lip was stating to ache with pain but he ignored it.

Why should he care at all that Mustang was in love with some beautiful woman? The guy was a known womanizer, it was only going to be a matter of time until he settled down.

He could feel his teeth cutting through the soft flesh of his lip.

What did he care if some shallow girl crawled into bed next to the Colonel every night?

He tasted blood.

Why should he care so much that Mustang was going to spend the rest of his life with someone?

Ed hiccupped slightly.

That's right. Why should he care?

That asshole was going to be someone else's problem to deal with. He should be happy.

A few stray tears made their way down his tanned cheeks without his permission at the same time that a warm hand descended onto his shoulder from behind. Strange, it seemed oddly familiar.

_'Whether or not you take the test is still up to you. I'm not trying to run your life.'_

Ed's eyes widened and he gave a groan when he realized who had come after him.

"Fullmetal?" Mustang asked softly.

Ed hurriedly wiped his eyes, a fact which did not go unnoticed by Roy, before turning around with a growl.

" What the hell do you want?" he snarled. Mustang looked taken aback for a moment by the harshness in Ed's voice but covered it quickly with his usual calm exterior. " Is something wrong, Fullmetal?"

"No," Edward said shortly before slapping the hand on his shoulder away and storming out of the library, earning himself a disapproving glare from the librarian.

"Hold on," the Colonel huffed when he caught up with Ed," what's wrong with you?"

" Nothing."

Suddenly Edward found himself being twirled around to face Mustang, his own face mere inches from the other man's. Ed found himself looking to the side to avoid gazing into those ebony eyes.

The hands on his forearms tightened. A cold finger drifted over his bottom lip and Ed gave a gasp, his eyes quickly fixing themselves onto Mustang's own narrowed ones as the man's fingers came away slick with blood. There was only an unidentifiable look there tinged with… anger?

Edward looked down.

"Edward," Mustang said in warning.

"It's nothing, I just don't like your wife very much," Ed said in a guarded voice.

"She's my fiancé, and what don't you like about her?"

" She-" he stopped, confused. What was he supposed to say when he himself didn't know the answer?

The blonde wrenched his arms out of the Colonel's grasp and started to walk away.

"Wait."

"What is it now?" Edward yelled, agitated.

" Aren't you forgetting our 'deal'? I suppose you're just going to stay after hours in order to make up lost time don't you think, Fullmetal?"

With that he strode off toward HQ, leaving no time for Edward to make any protests.

Damn it, that man pissed him off to no ends, Ed thought, as he watched the dark haired alchemist move farther away. Who did he think he was for making him stay later?

Edward still couldn't stop the elated feeling gathering inside of him when he realized that Mustang had come after him or the small smile that graced his lips as he followed after the Colonel.


	4. Chapter 4

Edward followed Mustang back through the doors and up the two flights of stairs.

Strangely enough, the hallways were almost completely deserted except for a few military officers who threw Roy looks of jealousy and loathing. When they entered the office they found that everyone had left. It appeared that during their absence Hawkeye and the others had managed to chase both the guests and the fan girls away. As it was, Hawkeye was currently balancing herself on Havoc's shoulder trying to take down the white banner above Roy's desk while Breda, Fuery, and Falman stood off to the side watching.

Yes, the room was pleasantly quiet.

"Honey!"

Well, almost.

Upon seeing her soon-to-be-husband walk through the door, Marionette threw herself off the desk she had been sitting on and flung herself onto the Colonel, covering his face with feather light kisses.

Ed turned away from the sickening scene, feigning interest in watching Hawkeye threaten Havoc with her gun for grouping her. After a few tense moments, Mustang tapped the blonde on the shoulder and made a motion for Ed to follow him. He led Edward over to the desk closest to his own.

"Your new desk, Fullmetal," he said.

Oh joy.

The blonde plopped himself in the chair with a sigh, looking forlornly at the rather large pile of paperwork in front of him. God, didn't Mustang ever do his paperwork?

Ignoring both the Colonel and Marionette, who was sitting in his lap behind his desk giggling, Edward let out another weary sigh. This was going to be a long day.

------------------

Goddammit!

Edward gave a frustrated growl as he pushed a fringe of hair out of his eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Every time he bent over to sign a paper his damn hair got in his face.

"Why the hell didn't I wear a braid today!" His hands reached up and fisted in his hair angrily. The whole office quieted and turned to stare at him.

Had he said that out loud? The blonde could feel himself starting to glow with embarrassment. Embarrassment which only deepened when Mustang said," I think your hair looks rather nice that way, Fullmetal." He didn't notice the glare Marionette gave him.

Damn that bastard!

Edward pretended as though he hadn't heard him and once again bent over a paper.

A while later, when the flush had receded from his cheeks, he paused while scribbling his signature, trying to stifle a yawn. He was too tired for this shit. He had stayed up the previous night going through files and reading books he had hoped would get him one step closer to his goal.

The office was pleasantly warm from the sunlight streaming through the window behind the Colonel's desk and the room was filled with the buzz of murmured conversations. The sound of scribbling pens on paper was so soothing....

" _You knew! That's why you made us take this train. You put us on risk on purpose!"_

_The words flowed from his mouth just as angrily as they had the day they'd met. _

_Mustang narrowed his eyes in amusement before replying, " Come on, Ed. You think I've got the whole world on strings? Anyway--" he broke off suddenly, looking tense, and glanced behind him._

_The train station started to fade into darkness._

_" Colonel? Mustang?!"Edward __screamed franticly, looking about him. But there was nothing. _

_"Roy!"_

That's when the bucket of ice water was dumped over his head.

He jerked awake, his hand slipping from his cheek and causing his head to pitch forward and hit his desk.

" What the hell?" he screeched, rubbing his forehead.

Marionette stood next to his desk, the large blue bucket in her hands still poised over Ed, occasionally letting out one or two drops.

" Oh, I'm terribly sorry, dear," she said with fake sincerity, " but you were sleeping so fitfully! You were even moaning Roy honey's name. One has to wonder what you were dreaming about?"

Edward blushed deeper than he could ever remember as he glanced around the small room. Havoc was clearly trying not to burst out laughing, Fuery looked nervous, and Hawkeye was still working; apparently she neither cared nor thought whatever going on important enough to stop. Breda was missing and Ed could see Mustang was leaning forward slightly over his desk, an odd calculating expression on his face.

The blonde ignored the question that had been directed at him and turned a darker shade of crimson from anger.

" Could you tell me WHY you dumped freezing cold water on me?!" he managed to get out through gritted teeth.

Instead of answering the seething blonde, she turned her back on him and pranced over to Roy.

"I nearly forgot! I made these chocolates for you, darling," she said as she pulled out a small white box tied with a red ribbon and set it on his desk with a flourish.

At that moment the door flew opened, slamming against the wall as Breda entered. Edward noticed that as soon as Marionette had turned her back, the Colonel pushed the box of chocolates into a desk drawer, the fake smile he had given to her vanishing from his face. When his gaze caught Edward's the blonde turned away quickly, focusing his attention on Breda and the man who had followed him through the door.

Shoulder length white hair, his spiked bangs just met his purple eyes tinged with green, the man had a kind look about him and yet his eyes… his eyes were as cold as ice. This man would definitely stand out in a room. The rest of his appearance was normal enough. He wore the regulation blue military uniform but a glint of silver from his pocket caught Ed's eye.

This man was a state alchemist.

"Everyone I'd like you to meet my new buddy; just joined the military today! This is--" he faltered, the excited look leaving his face for a moment.

"John," the man supplied. His voice was very soft and gentle; almost a whisper ,you had to strain to hear it. Edward looked to Marionette who had bristled slightly, an angry glare crossing her face for a moment before it was retracted to be replaced by a eerily calm smile.

"Why hello there, John," she said, walking over to the man and extending her hand like she had with Ed.

John smiled before bowing graciously, offering her a small smile as he grasped her hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles.

" And who is this lovely young lady?" he said as he straightened.

"I'm sorry, good sir, but it is improper to give your name to a gentleman you barely know," she said quickly, giving a tittering laugh before striding over to Edward and practically shoving him toward the man.

" This is Edward Elric. You know that gifted young alchemist everyone keeps talking about? I'm sure you two must have much in common. I'll just be getting out of your way then." She laced their hands together before walking over to Roy, who had walked out from behind his desk, and draped her arm around Mustang's, giving a very pissed off blonde a smirking grin.

If only looks could kill, Edward thought vehemently, his eyes narrowing at Marionette.

Ed felt something soft slip across the back of his hand and jumped, his attention snapping back to the strange man in front of him. His lips were still on Ed's hand.

The blonde retracted his hand and started rubbing it furiously, trying to ignore the icy eyes that were fixed on him and the strange smile.

At that moment Roy stepped between them.

" Welcome to the military. I'm Colonel Roy Mustang." There was something almost threatening about the Colonel's tone as he shook John's hand, still standing between the man and Ed.

A stifling tension filled the room as everyone watched the three; Marionette stood off to the side seemingly forgotten.

" Hey, isn't it time for lunch break?" Fuery's nervous squeak cut through the silence.

"Yeah," Havoc said, staring pointedly at Roy as he pushed Fuery, Breda, Falman and even Hawkeye, who, surprisingly, didn't object to being separated from her work, out the door.

Mustang walked over to the door but instead of walking out he held the door open farther and, smirking toward John, said, "Well, shall we?"

John offered him a cold smile before gliding out the door only looking back once to gaze first at Marionette and then towards Edward, a twisted grin appearing on his face for a second as he passed through the doorway. Edward started to follow the Colonel through the door but a hand on his sleeve stopped him midstride.

"Actually, sweetie, I thought I'd like to have a little chat with you. If you wouldn't mind?" She gave him a warm smile.

Edward, however, gave her a suspicious glare. What the hell was she up to? The blonde hardly thought she was going to offer a truce to whatever battle had started between them. He snorted at the thought.

"Yeah, sure." Edward walked around his chair to stand on it's other side so that he could stand nearer to her, his back to the door.

Immediately the warm smile vanished from her face to be replaced by a very ugly look indeed. "Listen up, you little bastard. Stay away from my Roy."

To say that Edward was shocked would have been the understatement of the century.

"I see the way you look at him, you little queer. Let me tell you something right now, my Roy honey is completely straight and would never return your disgusting feelings. In fact ,you know what I think? I think that if he even found out he would be horrified."

"Stop it," Edward whispered, the pain he was feeling clearly evident in his voice.

" He would be disgusted if he knew. And why shouldn't he be? I know what you did to your little brother."

"Stop it!" His vision was starting to film over with tears.

" Even though it was forbidden you forced your little brother to help you perform the transmutation."

Edward couldn't say anything. His voice seemed to have disappeared. His hand came up to fist the material covering his chest. His heart felt like it was being torn apart.

" I wonder what your mother would say if she knew," she said in a mocking tone, "Oh, but I guess we'll never know, will we, because you couldn't even bring her back, could you?"

Ed seemed frozen as Marionette stepped forward and pushed the blonde, causing him to stumble backwards and crash into his chair. He landed sprawled on the floor in front of her. And as he stared up at her it was as though a haze had been lifted from his eyes and he was seeing her for the first time.

She was no longer pretty. Her hair was no longer straight and seemed to bristle in her anger. Her eyes were blazing with malice and amusement.

She was a monster ;the kind that kept little children from sleeping peacefully in their beds.

" Aww, what's the matter? Is the little baby going to cry? All you ever do is cause pain for everyone around you. Your mother, your father, and now Roy. Why don't you just leave and never come back? Become a field alchemist again? Roy was happier when you were gone." She giggled malevolently when Edward choked on a sob and picked his broken form up from off the floor.

Her hands fisted at her side as her eyes screwed shut in anger and she took a deep breath. "Just leave and never come back!"

"Shut up!"

Suddenly, without even realizing it, Edward saw, as if in slow motion, his own fist flying toward that smirking face. The blonde's eyes closed when he felt his arm jerk backwards, a hand enclosed tightly on the fabric at his elbow. He knew without looking who the hand belonged to and, for a moment, he couldn't bear to open his eyes and see the anger and disappointment that would be clearly written on Mustang's face for having almost stricken his wife.

Cracking a golden eye open he gazed questioningly at the Colonel.

Seeing the glare placed there, Edward yanked his arm away from the man's grip and strode out the door, suddenly wishing he had not bothered to get out of bed at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Edward rushed down the hallway and threw open the door to the men's restroom, slamming it behind him.

Panting slightly, he walked slowly towards the single mirror placed over the sink's basin.

He didn't recognize himself in the reflection. Surely that sad little boy wasn't him?

The look of fiery determination had died from his eyes leaving a broken sadness in its place.

One or two tears streaked down and dripped into the sink. The face in the mirror was stark white and the hair was frizzy.

Disgusted with himself, he brushed the tears away roughly and patted his hair down forcefully, angrily. The blonde sighed. Staying depressed wasn't going to help him accomplish anything.

He vigorously washed his face in the basin. Looking up, he sighed once again. He'd gotten rid of the tear tracts but his flushed cheeks and watery eyes gave him away.

Dammit, since when had he gotten so sentimental?

"Edward?" he heard a voice say softly, gently.

The blonde groaned in frustration. He'd forgotten to lock the door! Why did the Colonel always have to be there at the worst times?

"What do you want?!"

A hand touched his hair hesitantly. "Are you alright?"

Of course he wasn't alright!

And yet he couldn't help calming down at the sound of Mustang's soothing voice.

" I'm fine," Edward managed to choke out, angry when his voice cracked pitifully. The Colonel's other hand rested on his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" he whispered into his ear, hot breath fanning over his sensitive lobe. Ed shivered and gulped. Since when had Roy's voice become so enticing?

The blonde froze, his eyes widening when the Colonel started stroking his hair. Those long slender fingers gliding through the silky blonde locks. He closed his eyes in pleasure as Mustang's hand caressed his scalp and the man lightly brushed his lips across his neck.

If only Marionette could see her husband now, Edward thought, but that's right… the Colonel was marrying Marionette. So why would he do this? Just to toy with him?

Edward slapped the hand that laid on his head away before turning to face Mustang, his bangs lowered over his eyes to hide the deep sadness that lurked there.

"Why are you here, Colonel?" he asked sternly, glad that his voice didn't betray his inner turmoil.

A quick glance up let him see the slight frown that graced the Colonel's lips.

"What do you mean, Edward?" Was it just him or did Mustang's voice sound almost fearful?

"Why don't you just run off and snuggle with your _wife?" _Edward spat, drawing the word out in a sneer.

An odd silence filled the room and, for a moment, Ed thought that Mustang was going to yell at him, but instead the man just turned and strode from the room, giving the blonde a cold, almost sad,smile as he passed through the doorway.

Edward whipped around and punched the mirror, feeling it shatter under his fist. It didn't satisfy him as much as he'd thought it would.

Drops of blood came down to mix with Ed's tears. The pink liquid formed shimmering pools over the shards of glass in the sink's basin.

To Edward they seemed to reflect his broke heart.


	6. Chapter 6

Edward sighed as he watched the blood flow in a steady line onto the fragments of mirror.

He clapped his hands together and placed them on the rim of the basin, watching as the glass seemed to meld into the porcelain of the bowl before appearing out of the wall before him whole and untarnished.

The blonde then glanced around but found there was nothing suitable to bind his hand with.

Growling angrily at his own stupidity, he gently ran his hand under the lukewarm water until all the crimson liquid was washed away to reveal several small cuts and a deep gouge going between two knuckles and stopping at the middle on the back of his hand.

Ed raised his hand up to examine it better. The cut was not shallow but not as deep as some of the other gashes he'd endured before. Already blood was seeping from the wound again.

The blonde weighed his options carefully.

Or at least as carefully as he usually would. Medical stuff was more what Alphonse worried about, even when the two were fighting others. Edward was usually more worried about kicking ass to be concerned with how much blood he was losing.

He came to the conclusion of two options.

One: He could ask the Colonel if he could leave early so Al could patch him up back at home. But this gave two great disadvantages: Mustang would ask why and Al would ask the same thing and the blonde was too tired to try to come up with an excuse.

Two: He could go to the military infirmary which was located on the west wing of the last floor of the building. Ed knew this seeing as he'd personally spent a few days there after having his battle assessment against the Colonel. During the battle Edward had managed to dodge most of the Flame Alchemist's attacks but a few did manage to graze him. The blonde had tried to hide behind cockiness as he laughed at Mustang for being 'slow' ( like hell he was) but really he'd had to gritt his teeth from the pain.

But the problem with that was that every military officer who visited the infirmary had a file on them. When someone came in with an injury, the nurse would pull up their file and make a formal report on it, which would later be added to the main file that the military kept on him and that any officer in the military could read if they wanted to. The commanding officer in charge would also be informed of the injury, which was the last thing Ed wanted.

He could just picture it now…

_"How did you injure your hand, Fullmetal?" _and of course he would say_ " Oh, you see, I suddenly felt incredibly angry so I punched a mirror"._

Even in his head it sounded stupid.

Of course, Mustang wouldn't be surprised that he broke a mirror, he tended to brake things on a regular basis. But the unexpected rage? Oh, however was he going to explain that when he was usually such a calm and maudlin person ( insert heavy sarcasm here)?

The blonde blinked as pulled himself back into reality.

His injured hand was now splattering small droplets of blood onto the clean white tiles of the floor and he chastised himself for getting lost in his thoughts. There was nothing he could do for his hand and it wasn't as though he was going to bleed to death from it.

Edward pulled his glove back on and winced when he felt the rough fabric scratch across his skin. The blonde then pulled the sleeve of his red coat over it, to hide the crimson color that was starting to spread across the glove.

Ed glanced into the mirror before exiting.

A young boy with yellow hair stared back at him through golden eyes filled with fear and uncertainty, his face flushed pink.

The blonde carefully put back on his mask of anger and determination and let this fill the expression on his face before settling back into his ' I don't give a shit' façade as he stalked down the empty hallways to the lunch room.

That bitch Marionette would pay for this.


	7. Chapter 7

Edward stalked down the halls, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his hand and the growing wetness he felt from his glove. The hallways were relatively deserted, one or two officers walking by, being careful to avoid bumping into the infamous irate blonde. Several stairwells and hallways later, Edward walked through the doors into the mess hall.

Well, walked would be putting it lightly. He was pissed and the doors slammed open as he stomped through them.

His eyes automatically swept the room, landing on the table closest to the high window.

They were all sitting there. Havoc was leaning on Breda's shoulder; his shoulders were shaking as though he were crying while Breda was grinning and laughing. Feury looked on, smiling sheepishly. He watched as Hawkeye, sitting on the other side of Havoc, gave a weary sigh. On the other side of the table was the Colonel.

_Lips grazed down the side of his neck, warm breath fanning against his skin_--

Edward shivered and shook his head, trying to pull himself out of the recent memory. His hand rose up and he placed it against the spot Mustang had kissed; he could feel his expression softening.

A dainty hand suddenly came into his line of vision to rest against the Colonel's arm. His face hardened once more when he saw Marionette giggling and leaning against Mustang.

The Colonel looked visibly uncomfortable but was smiling charmingly at her. Marionette was saying something to him. Leaning up she whispered in his ear, her eyes sweeping across the room to land on Edward, and she smirked. The Colonel's eyes came up and locked gazes with him. Embarrassed, Ed looked away, trying to stop himself from blushing.

Suddenly it occurred to him that he had been standing in the middle of the lunch room for a long time.

Keeping his head down to avoid glancing at Mustang, he walked up to the counter. The cook looked him up and down and frowned. "Sorry kid, but we only serve military personnel here."

Edward twitched and clenched his fists, trying to contain his anger. It wasn't the chef's fault he was so stupid. Some people were just born that way, he thought, glaring at the man.

"I am military personnel," he said, gritting his teeth.

"Nice try, kid," another cook piped up from the back of the kitchen, smirking.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT--"

A hand slapped over his mouth, stifling his yell.

"Now, now gentlemen," a smooth voice was saying behind him, "it's not smart to insult the great Fullmetal alchemist, is it?"

The chef looked embarrassed and scurried to the back of the kitchen muttering a quick 'sorry'.

Edward turned around, fuming, but stopped short when he saw who it was.

John stood there, both hands up and facing forward in a gesture of peace. His violet eyes swept over the blonde's face and he smiled slightly.

It was strange seeing the man smile. Disconcerting somehow. Ed watched as one of his hands came up and brushed away a lock of white hair from his cheek, tucking it behind one ear. He tried to relax his tense body; after all he had no problem with this guy, yet.

But he wasn't exactly known for making friends either. "What the hell was that for?!"

John's expression changed to one of confused innocence. "I was merely trying to help," he replied.

"Yeah? Well, I don't need it. I could've handled that just fine without you butting in." He crossed his arms over his chest and took a step back. He didn't know why but something about this guy just gave him the creeps.

" My apologies," he said softly. His eyes glanced up and down Edward's body and when his eyes met the blonde's again he was smiling.

The cook was back, depositing a tray of food on the counter and bowing in apology. Ed ignored him and grabbed the tray, not even looking at the contents. Turning his back on John he walked over to the table.

Squeezing himself in between Fuery and Breda, he sat down with a huff. Immediately Havoc was next to him, leaning heavily on his shoulder.

" Tell them, Ed, " he was sobbing, "tell them that there is too a girl out there for me!"

"Yeah, sure Havoc," he muttered.

" She's out there somewhere I know it!" Havoc straightened, grinning dazedly as though he were having a daydream, his cigarette threatening to fall from his slack mouth.

Unbidden, his eyes fixed on the Colonel once more. He was staring at Havoc but he wasn't smiling. He frowned as though lost in thought. The blonde watched as his eyes looked across the room to the counter where he had previously been standing. For a moment, he wondered what the man was thinking but then looked down at the table.

Why was he even caring to begin with?

But his mind flew back to the restroom, remembering the warmth of having Mustang next to him. His hand picked up the bread on his tray and he tore a piece off; stuffing it in his mouth, he chewed without tasting it.

_His hand stroked through his hair, pleasantly…_

Setting down the bread, he grabbed his drink and chugged some down, setting it back on the table with a _click. _

_Those lips on his neck so warm…_

Once again his hands went to his bread but instead of picking it up he started tearing it into smaller pieces.

_He could see in the reflection Mustang looking at him from the mirror, his dark eyes smoldering…_

Edward blinked when he realized how quiet it had gotten at the table. Looking up from his tray he stared around.

Havoc's eyes were wide as he looked at him incredulously, his cigarette, having fallen from his lips, lying on the table. Feury was staring at him, shocked. Breda was smiling, amused. Even Hawkeye looked taken aback as she stared at him. But his eyes sought out the Colonel, who looked dazed. Marionette was glancing around the table like he was and when his eyes met hers she sneered at him.

Looking away from her he fixed his gaze on Havoc.

You'd think he set off a bomb or something. " What?" he snapped, confused. Havoc swallowed. He opened and closed his mouth, gaping at him.

Feury tapped him on the shoulder. "Um…," he said, tentatively, " your, um, your drink, sir, it's, um…"

He trailed off nervously as the blonde glanced down at the drink in his hand.

For a moment it was as though time had stopped as he gazed, shocked, at what was in his hand. Dropping it on the table in disgust, he pushed his chair away quickly, trying to put distance between him and _it_.

The bottle of milk tipped over and the disgusting white substance spread across the table slowly. Suddenly he could taste it. The choking taste of it, the film it had given on his tongue. Nauseated, he rubbed his hand across his mouth.

Havoc burst out laughing, his hands clutching his sides. Even Hawkeye gave a grudging smile as she watched him. Without looking at Mustang, he turned on his heel and walked away quickly, his cheeks flushed from humiliation and with an awful taste in his mouth. He felt, rather than saw, someone walking behind him and he spun around, annoyed, to yell at them. His mouth snapped shut when he saw who it was.

Roy Mustang stood there, grinning at him. He walked around the blonde and towards his office calling over his shoulder, " If your not going to eat, then you may as well do your job, Fullmetal."

Edward bit back the millions of retorts he had about Mustang and his own job and instead ran to catch up with the man, trying to keep the glare on his face.


	8. Chapter 8

The Colonel opened the door, waiting until Edward had walked through to close it behind him. He gestured to the pile of papers on the blonde's desk and Edward saw, with barely veiled irritation, that a smirk was twitching at the corner of the man's lips, barely concealed.

Giving an exaggerated huff, he stomped over to his desk, pulling out his chair and wincing when he realized that he had unintentionally used his injured hand. Ignoring the throbbing in his hand, he pulled the sleeve of his jacket down as far as he could and sat down.

Using his other hand, he managed to scoot his chair up to the desk, the loud scraping sound echoing through the room. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mustang wince at the grating sound and couldn't help but smirk.

Serves him right for keeping cooped up here, he thought, grabbing the pen that he had left precariously close to the edge, and using the edge of his other sleeve to wipe some droplets of water from the top. He shook his head, some of his wet locks sticking to his cheeks and shivered in the cool air conditioning of the room.

Dammit, but he still wasn't dry.

He smiled, resting his arm on the table and clenching the pen tightly in his fist. That bitch was going to pay.

She was going to find out, just like so many others, that you did _not _fuck with the Fullmetal Alchemist and escape unscathed.

Something hit the side of his head lightly and he blinked.

Glancing down at the floor he saw a crumpled ball of paper. Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, he glared up at Mustang who was smiling at him.

" Get to work, Ed," he said, laughing a little.

The blonde glared at him a little longer before reluctantly turning to the large pile of papers in front of him. Well, he thought, cracking his neck, it was a good thing he hadn't hurt his left hand. He listened to Mustang's pen scratch across papers.

Tentatively grabbing a sheet with his injured hand, he signed it quickly, barely glancing at what it said. He smiled as he continued signing but he was pretty sure that to anyone looking it would seem evil. After all, if Mustang wanted his superiors to believe he himself had signed all these then why not sign them as the Colonel would have?

He couldn't help the grimace that flashed across his face when his glove rubbed uncomfortably against the seeping wound. Trying to be inconspicuous about it, he peeked to the side at his hand. With growing alarm, he saw that the blood had oozed through his glove and jacket and was forming a tiny pool on the desk.

He heard Mustang's pen pause and tried not to panic. It wasn't as though he had actually seen anything, right?

But then he heard the Colonel's chair scrape against the floor and bent his head over the paper that was in front of him, trying to look busy. He shifted his hand, gritting his teeth from the pain, over the small puddle and stretched his fingers out over it, making sure that only the white parts of his glove were showing.

He felt the Colonel's presence next to him and tried not to fidget under his stare. Why should he be nervous?

Faster than he would have expected, Mustang's hand shot out and gripped his right wrist, pulling him up. Stumbling, he stood and found himself gazing into the man's eyes. He seemed angry as he shoved the fabric of his sleeve up revealing the stained and dripping glove he had tried so hard to hide.

Ed sighed. He never had been very good at hiding anything. Al had always been able to find him at Hide-and-Seek and bad guys always did seem to capture him when he was sneaking around.

Avoiding his gaze, he dipped his head down, staring at the blue carpeted floor and studying his black scuffed leather boots.

" Why didn't you come to me, Ed?"

It was said softly but he seemed angry for some reason.

Uncomprehending, Edward stared at him.

Why? Why? Why? Why did Mustang even care? Why was he hurting him like this?

It was too painful. More painful than the aching cut in his hand. More intense than he had thought.

Ripping his hand away, he took a step back, staring down at the floor and letting his bangs cover his eyes.

" Because it's none of your damn business,_ Colonel_."

Mustang stepped forward, placing himself in front of Edward and gently grasped his wrist, pulling it up for inspection. "That's not true and you know it."

The blonde felt his cheeks flush with color as the Colonel led him over to his desk by the window. Dropping his hand for a moment, he watched the man circle around his desk. Opening a drawer, he rummaged inside for a while before pulling out a small first aid kit. Walking back towards Ed, he pushed him gently backwards. The blonde felt the backs of his legs hit the edge of a chair and give out, forcing him to sit.

Dragging a chair in front of him, Mustang sat down, scooting forward until his knees were touching Ed's.

He set the kit on the desk next to them, popping it open with a click.

Edward's stomach rolled when he saw him pull out a pair of tweezers. He hated tweezers. They were almost as bad as needles.

He wanted to run from the room but forced himself to remain seated. He knew he had to have his hand treated or it could get infected. And then he would have to spends weeks out of commission recovering.

He could be reasonable, after all. He just chose not to be on a regular basis.

Feather light, Mustang took his hands into his own and peeled back the wet glove slowly.

Edward gritted his teeth. The wound had barely begun to scab over but the glove pulled at the skin, taking some of it with it. He watched Mustang inspect the gash, his hand reaching for the tweezers in an absented minded way.

Sucking in his bottom lip he turned his head away and heard Mustang chuckle. He felt the pinch of the tweezers digging into his skin and felt something slide out of the cut. Curious, he turned his head and stared at what Mustang had pulled from him in disbelief.

How had he not felt that? He was getting too used to receiving wounds on a daily basis. Maybe Alphonse was right and he did need a vacation.

Laying on the table next to the now bloody tweezers was a two inch piece of glass. The cut must have been deeper than he'd thought.

Taking a deep breath, he'd never been fond of blood to say the least, he stared down at his good hand, clenched tightly into a fist at his lap.

He winced when he felt alcohol splash into the gash, dripping over the sides of his hand in a steady stream. Then Mustang was wrapping a bandage around his hand, tying it tightly into a knot at the wrist.

He flexed his hand, waving it up and down experimentally The bastard had done a pretty good job. But it wasn't like he was going to compliment him.

He leaned back, trying to push his chair away but felt the colonel grip his knee tightly, restraining his movement.

"Next time you get injured, Fullmetal, I want you to come straight to me."

His tone was stern but Edward couldn't help but give a mental snort. Like hell he would.

" Sure, sure," he mumbled, once more trying to push away. But Mustang was still gripping his knee and he felt his heart beat pick up when the man lent forward, his nose barely inches from his own.

" I mean it, Edward."

" Stop it," the blonde whispered through stiff lips.

Mustang tilted his head to the side slightly, smiling.

" Stop what, Ed?"

He was moving still closer, their noses brushing together.

"Stop using my name." His mind was staring to feel fuzzy and he was having trouble with coherency. A small-- no, not small, a piece-- of his mind was panicking, telling him to pull away. But his body was frozen.

Mustang was smirking at him now, so close his breath was ghosting over his lips.

" Do you really want me to stop using your name, Ed?"

Edward found himself leaning forward and, kissing his sanity goodbye, said, "No."

The Colonel's lips brushed lightly against his own and Edward's mind went blank.


	9. Chapter 9

Edward felt the Colonel's lips brush lightly against his own and his mind went blank.

His eyes slipped closed as Mustang pressed his lips more firmly against his. He was suddenly hyper aware of everything. Of how close Roy was to him. Of how warm he felt. How soft his lips felt. Mustang's hand reached up and cupped his cheek, gently angling his head so that their lips were sealed.

And as quickly as his mind had been wiped smooth it suddenly kicked into overdrive.

Why was Roy kissing him? Did this mean he cared? Did he want him to care? And what about Marionette?

And at the same time the answers didn't seem to matter because he was so warm and he felt--

The door slammed open, banging against the wall and Edward ripped his lips away from Roy's, staring at his lap once more. Glancing through his bangs he saw that Roy was still gripping his knee and was glaring towards the doorway.

He heard soft footsteps pattering against the floor and Marionette had thrown her arms around Roy, cradling his head to her bosom. Roy's cheeks went slightly pink but he looked more annoyed than anything as he tugged at the arm encircling his throat.

Shooting a look of pure loathing towards the blonde, she bent her head and whispered something into Roy's ear. Ignoring Marionette and curious he looked up at Mustang, studying his expression. All the color had drained from the man's face and he looked-- frightened, scared? He couldn't tell.

"Well, well, boss," Havoc drawled, leaning down and resting his arm on Ed's shoulder.

"What were you two up to while we were busy, hm?" His tone was light and teasing, meant to be joking, and the cigarette at his lips moved up and down as he talked. He glanced away, trying not to stare at anyone or anything, wishing he were with Alphonse far away on one of their missions, and trying hard not to blush. He watched Hawkeye walk calmly to her desk and saw her eyes flick up and meet his own.

It was the curiosity there that sent him over the edge. He could practically feel everyone else's gazes boring into his back.

Let it be said that Edward Elric did_ not_ do well under pressure.

Jumping up and causing his chair to topple over, he screwed his eyes shut and balled his fists.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T NEED TO EAT LUNCH BECAUSE THEY'LL NEVER GROW TALLER ANYWAY?!"

He panted, glaring, red-faced, at Havoc. Okay, so he knew that hadn't really made sense but to hell with it. He did not do uncomfortable silences.

Havoc was grinning nervously, waving his hands in front of him and taking a few small steps back.

He heard Breda chuckle and slowly turned his head to set his glare on him. Immediately Breda looked pale and tried to disguise his laughter as coughing.

The room went quiet, the only sounds coming from Hawkeye as she sat down and went through the papers on her desk, the soft swish of the papers seeming much louder than possible. And then John stepped through the doorway and he saw Marionette's arms go slack and Mustang managed to pull away, standing up and smoothing his jacket. He grabbed the first aid kit and strode back to his desk, returning it to the drawer.

He sat behind the desk, lacing his fingers together and, glancing at Edward, gazed toward Marionette, who seemed frozen. The blonde followed his gaze and noticed how tense she was and the nasty look on her perfect features as she gazed stonily at John, who smiled and winked at her.

Bristling, her features smoothed into a serene smile and she daintily walked back to Roy, swaying her hips. Walking around the desk she stepped froward and settled herself on Roy's lap, once more wrapping her arms about his neck and burying her face into his shoulder. She peeked at Ed, giving him a smirk.

He clenched his fists again, ignoring the pain that lanced through his injured flesh. Havoc was talking quietly with Breda as Fuery was helping organize papers with Hawkeye. It was a normal scene to an outsider. But to Edward, inside, he was boiling with anger. But he managed to smile tightly at Marionette. She had no idea what he was planning to get back at her.

He turned and almost ran out, which wasn't an unusual thing for him to do.

He was across the threshold when he heard Roy say, in an irritated tone, "It's a little hard to work with you in the way."

He smiled.

-------------------

He stretched his arm out quickly, punching an invisible enemy and flipped backwards.

The blood stain on his bandage was growing larger and darker but he couldn't bring himself to care very much.

Breathing heavily he dogged to the side, keeping as close to the ground as he possibly could, and, spinning, pretended to kick the legs out from his invisible enemy.

Satisfied he stood up and grimaced when he felt his black tank top cling to his skin, his jacket lying, folded on the ground where he had left it. Lifting his flesh arm he wiped the sweat from his forehead and glanced out the windows wondering when it had gotten so late.

"I thought I told you to come see me if you were injured."

Roy was leaning against the door to the gym, smirking.

Edward did his best to look casual, trying to push down the memory of Roy's lips on his own.

"Doesn't count if it's already been treated."

He heard Roy snort and then the sound of his boots scuffing across the wood of the floor.

"Oh, yes it does."

He kept his gaze on the floor his emotions conflicting inside his head.

He wanted to run up and hit the bastard. He wanted to fling himself in Roy's arms and clutch him as close as he could.

And a part of his mind wondered when he had started calling the Colonel by his first name.


	10. Chapter 10

He lifted his head and stared at Roy as he walked closer, pushing the thought from his head.

"Why?" he mumbled tiredly, watching as Roy stepped in front of him.

There was only so much he could deal with in a day. He was used to high pressure situations. The kind that got your adrenaline pumping but was over quickly. And he was not an extremely emotional person though he had been told that sometimes he cared too much.

Roy tilted his head slightly, giving him a soft smile.

His hand rose up and cupped his cheek, stroking the skin gently with his thumb. Edward shivered despite his flushed skin and overheated body when that hand ran through his hair.

His hand fell away and the blonde gazed at him. Why? Why was he doing this?

Edward believed that everything had an explanation. People made their own miracles not some faulty concept in a higher being.

And another questioned popped into his head. When had he grown to care so much about Roy Mustang that all these little things bothered him?

Screw this. He wanted answers now. He opened his mouth and the door to the gym swung open with a noisy squeak, wintry night air swirling in and making him shudder and glare at the person he knew would be coming in through that door.

Marionette stepped in, wearing a cheerful smile, and made her way to the Colonel, her black high heels clacking against the floor with every step.

"Come on now,_ darling_, you know I don't like it when you leave me alone for too long."

She pouted at him, batting her eyelashes.

Mustang shifted as she rested her gaze on him, glancing restlessly at Edward. She followed his eyes and gave a wide smirk as her gaze landed on the blonde alchemist. Looping her arm through Roy's she gave him a pointed smile and said, "We were discussing it and we just thought it would be absolutely _lovely _if you would be Roy sweetie's best man at the wedding. Don't you think so dear?"

She gazed up at Mustang, tugging on his arm.

Edward felt like he'd just been punched and felt breathless for a moment.

As he struggled to gain his breath his eyes focused on Roy. He was gazing at him in concern, apparently oblivious that Marionette was tugging even harder on his sleeve, her eyes traveling between them.

He could practically hear what Marionette had actually been saying as though she had been shouting it and though he tried to stop himself his mind immediately translated it, repeating it over and over.

_He chose me. Not you._

He turned his back to them, walking unsteadily to his jacket and picking it up from the floor where he had set it, neatly folded. He shook it out and draped it over his arm, pretending to study a small tear in the cloth that he would have to ask Alphonse to stitch. He couldn't do it himself. And he didn't care that Alphonse had said it was because he had no patience. He had plenty of patience. The needle and string just hated him.

He shook his head. Why was it getting so much harder to think? His mind felt fuzzy....

And behind him he could hear Roy and Marionette whispering, probably about him. He couldn't summon enough energy to care. He heard shuffling and the squeak of the door opening.

"Fullmetal," he heard Roy call out in an authoritative tone. He turned around slowly, feeling unsteady. As though he were about to fall.

Roy was standing at the door, Marionette pulling at his hand and looking irritated as she flipped her long black hair behind her shoulder and gave a huff, stomping her foot.

Even from where he was standing he could hear her hiss, "Now, Roy."

But Mustang straighted his shoulders and glared at her so darkly she actually took a step back, looking unsure for a moment. She returned his glare for a moment before sighing and closing the door, walking to stand next to Roy as he faced Edward.

He threw her a warning look before gazing at Edward.

"Fullmetal, come here."

Edward considered telling him to go fuck himself but dismissed the tempting thought. He didn't feel like getting court-martialed or having to hear a lecture. He was so exhausted.

He dragged himself to the door, his whole body feeling unusually heavy.

Having reached them, he crossed his arms and tried to keep his blurry vision on Roy.

"What?" he whispered.

"Give me your hand." He was looking at him, alarmed, one hand stretched out as though to steady him. He slapped the hand away. He was tired of whatever game Mustang was playing with him. He longed to throw himself into his bed and hide his alarm clock so he never had to get up again.

"No."

The blonde started forward, planning to push Roy aside and get outside. But Marionette had stuck out her foot and Edward stumbled over it, losing his balance and falling. He turned his head slightly to look at her as he fell, shocked. She was staring down her nose at him, her chin pointed up in a superior manner, smiling.

He saw her grin vanish when he toppled into Mustang, who fell backwards with him, his arms wrapping protectively around the blonde's back.

And then he was lying on top on Roy, his face pressed into his jacket, and he realized how good the Colonel smelled and nuzzled his cheek against his chest, weakly gripping the fabric with both hands.

But Roy was saying something and Edward snapped out of it, scrambling off him and taking shallow breaths. He backed away, but Roy had gotten up and was reaching for him.

His vision shimmered slightly and Roy's face blurred in an out of focus. He was saying something as he reached for him and he looked so panicked. Marionette had grasped his sleeve and was talking to him, her face indifferent.

And then a bright spot of something on Mustang's jacket caught his eyes and he struggled to focus on it.

Blood? Why was there blood on Roy's jacket?

He gave a small laugh. It didn't make any sense.

But then the room was spinning and he swayed, bringing his hand up to rub at his eyes. He rubbed his eyes furiously, still tripping backwards to avoid Roy. His eyes felt strangely wet and he pulled his hand away. He had rubbed his eyes with his bandaged hand. The whole bandage was soaked with blood, which was dripping down steadily, the blood darker where it gushed from the split skin.

Oh. Well that made sense.

He smiled. Everything had a reason.

He saw Roy reaching for him, gripping his arm and calling his name.

And everything went dark.


	11. Chapter 11

He watched with alarm as Edward raised his hand and wiped at his eyes, stumbling away from his reach.

Blood smeared across the blonde alchemist's eyelids, dripping down his cheeks like tears and turning his eyebrows red. He watched as Ed paused, drawing his hand away from his eyes and staring at it. He smiled and for some reason that scared Roy more than anything.

How much blood had the younger alchemist lost?

And finally he had reached him and grasped his arm.

"Ed? _Edward_!"

The blonde swayed and crumpled, his legs folding underneath him and his eyes fluttering closed. Keeping a tight grip on his arm, he caught the other and gently lowered him down to the floor. This was not good. He glanced out the windows, brushing Edward's bangs back from his sweaty forehead.

Damn, it was too late at night. All the medical personnel staff would have gone home.

He gazed down at the blonde's face. He had to stay calm. He had been in the Ishbal War and seen much worse. But the sight of the fiery alchemist lying so feebly in his arms had Roy's mind in a panic. The boy was panting, his eyes moving restlessly behind his eyelids. His skin was pale and cool to the touch.

Okay at least he was still breathing. And if he stopped the blood flow quickly enough....

"Roy honey."

He ignored the woman behind him, focusing all his attention on Edward. If he managed to stop the blood flow quickly enough and the blonde got some rest for a few days and with good nutrition he might be fine.

He saw a pair of high heeled shoes next to Edward's body and looked up. Marionette was gazing down on him, her eyes glittering with amusement.

"Roy, honey, I'm bored. Just give him to one of your subordinates and let's go home."

Roy Mustang almost never lost his temper. And there was a reason for that. He had seen some things in the war that still haunted even his best dreams and had done things to people he would not wish on his worst enemy. But seeing the enjoyment in her face and hearing the indifference in her voice he lost it completely.

Making sure not to jostle Ed, he laid him on the floor. He stepped over his body, face to face with Marionette.

"Don't you ever come near him again," he said quietly, his voice dark with anger.

Her face was the picture of innocence as she grinned at him.

"Why, I just don't know what you mean, _darling_. I didn't do this to him." She waved her hand carelessly towards his body.

"This wasn't part of our deal. You know why he's hurt."

She smiled more widely, twirling around, her long hair spinning around her waist. "I didn't force him to do anything. If your going to put the blame on anyone why don't you--" ,she reached into the pocket of her skirt and in a flash he was staring into a reflection of his own dark eyes from the mirror of a small pink compact, "--look in the mirror?"

He slapped the mirror away causing it to fall from her hand and skid across the floor. She gave him a hurt look as she rubbed her hand but her wide smile made him know it was fake.

"Well that wasn't very nice."

She skipped backwards, swaying from side to side playfully.

"Now, honey, honestly I can't help anything if the boy decides to injure himself. Really I just told him a few simple truths and then he goes and cuts his hand open! Clearly he's not as strong as everyone thinks he is. He's just a stupid, pathetic--."

His hand smacked into her cheek causing a small drop of blood to form at the corner of her lips and the skin to turn a deep pink. Her head had flown to the side with the force of the slap and her hair hung over her shoulder, concealing her face. She raised her head again and stared at him, rubbing her cheek. Her hands came down to smooth her skirt and she narrowed her eyes at him. She smirked and her tongue peeked out between her pink lips, dabbing at the blood on her lips and licking it away.

"Don't you ever say anything like that again or this whole thing's off."

She burst out laughing at him, her arms hugging her middle.

She circled around him and he tensed as her arms wrapped around his neck, hugging him from behind. "You're just too funny, Roy," she whispered in his ear, licking his earlobe. Immediately he pulled his ignition gloves from his pocket and was tugging one onto his hand when he felt her arms withdraw. She pranced over Edward's prone body.

"You know you can't call this off, Roy. Remember what we discussed?" She sat down next to the small blonde and carefully stroked his cheek. He saw Edward shift restlessly before going still, his face draining completely of color. "I have connections everywhere in the military Roy. I wouldn't have even noticed you if you hadn't made yourself so popular. Everyone knows your ambitions." She sauntered over to him, her hands smoothing wrinkles from his jacket. "You're my puppet, Roy. Get used to it. You're going to become Fuhrer. And I'm going to make sure it happens. While I stand at your side, your perfect, encouraging wife."

His own eyes narrowed at her. She didn't know him so well if she thought he didn't have a few plans on how to get out of her clutches. Besides he knew she only needed him to become Fuhrer so she could be behind him, pulling the strings. Having the whole country dancing in the palm on her hand.

"After all, if you mess this up who knows what could happen to poor Eddy?" Her eyes grew round with concern, a smile twitching on her lips. "And what if the military found out about your unnatural feelings towards a minor? And a man, no less." She clapped her hands to her face in horror, laughing.

As a whole the country was tolerant of relationships between men. And though the military was said to be just as easy going, it wasn't entirely true. Everyone in the military had to set the perfect example of a soldier. After all, they were the representatives of their nation. They had to been friendly, family men, and well trained. Anyone found to be otherwise had some tiny fault pulled on them as a reason and kicked out. He didn't want to think how much worse it would be if they found it was between a minor and an adult.

Though Ed was technically an adult it would be just as damaging, if not more, than otherwise.

He pushed her away from him and bent down, gathering Edward's limp body in his arms. He was at the door before he heard her laughing. "Leave the door unlocked for me, sweetie. I'll be home shortly."

He made a mental note to barricade the door as he listed the medical supplies he would need in his head.

She smiled as he passed through the door, leaving her alone.

He was such a good dog when he was kept on a leash.


	12. Chapter 12

_He was standing on the platform, staring into the eyes of Roy Mustang as he smirked, Hawkeye by his side._

_The familiar words trip off his tongue with a casual ease, losing some of the intensity they had held when he had first screamed them, hurtling them at the man who was so damn smug._

"_But you always said we could take it! That's the reason we came!"_

_Mustang narrowed his eyes at him, smiling._

"_Be realistic, Ed. The State's never let a kid take the military exam before. But I guess luck's on your side. Good thing you took that earlier train, don't you think?"_

_He lowers his head, pinching the bridge of his nose and fighting the urge to run up to him and-- what?_

_Somehow the thought of attacking the man was both appealing and repellent. He knew for certain that someone needed to knock the bastard off his high horse so why couldn't it be him?_

_But at the same time an image forced itself through his thoughts. One where he ran up to the man and pulled his head down to meet him in a ki-- no, no, no and just....no. He must be going crazy. He hadn't gotten enough sleep or maybe the trains fumes were getting to him._

_But he had heard a phrase somewhere along the way that seemed to sum up his feelings perfectly. He wanted to kill the Colonel. And he wanted to kiss him too._

_A warm hand descends onto his shoulder and he can't help but relax a little under the reassuring weight._

"_Whether or not you take the test is still up to you. I'm not trying to run your--"_

_The Colonel broke off suddenly and he bristles. Something is wrong._

_He takes his hand away and stares up at Mustang, the hairs on the back of his neck raising. Roy's hand clenches on his shoulder and he glances behind the man, realizing that suddenly they are alone. The whole platform is empty, save for the train still issuing puffs of smoke into the air._

_A feeling close to panic comes over him as he gazes up at him again, noticing how the man is staring at something over Edward's shoulder. His eyes flicker down to meet his and Ed freezes at what he sees there. Sheer panic and fear; a reflection of his own feelings._

_He can hear something, a slight clacking sound, soft but firm, coming closer. He finds he can't move at all, that he is literally frozen in place, and stares up at Mustang pleadingly when the noise finally stops behind him._

_He can smell something, just a trace. Roses...?_

_The sound starts again, this time circling him and he follows the object that's making it with his eyes._

_A young woman walks around him to place her hand on the colonel's shoulder, gazing into Ed's eyes and smiling. She cocks her head to the side as though evaluating him and he notes that Mustang's hand still hasn't left his shoulder and feels grateful for the contact. Maybe he is frozen as well._

_She runs one hand through her hair and her eyes narrow as she smirks at him._

_She reaches out for him and lightly touches his cheek with one finger. Pain shoots through him so abruptly and viciously that he gasps. She giggles and adds another finger, slowly stroking the bare skin . He screams, feeling as though his cheek is burning._

_The pain fades away and he opens his eyes slowly, his legs shaking, making him think that if he could move he'd be on the ground by now._

_Mustang is holding her wrist, inches from his face, his own face white. He looks sick. _

_She smiles nastily at him before returning her gaze to Edward. She rips her hand away from the colonel's grip and steps closer to the blond alchemist. _

_She leans down until her face is next his and moves some of his bangs away with one hand, gently sweeping it behind one ear._

"_Don't forget," she whispers, " that he—" she looks over her shoulder at Mustang, who's still frozen, one hand outstretched toward Ed. "-- is mine."_

_She steps back to look him in the eyes and he sees something in them, something evil and ancient in their violet depths._

_She smiles and presses a kiss to his forehead and-- oh god. His whole body is nothing but pain and a scream rips from him, but he can't move...._

"It's okay, it's alright," someone murmured into his ear. But no, they didn't understand, his whole body was on fire, pain racing through every vein. There was a loud sound ringing in his ears and he was faintly surprised he could still hear when whoever it was whispered reassurances into his ear.

Slowly he calmed because he recognized that voice.

He kept his eyes screwed shut, hoping that if there was a God he didn't hate him that much that the person beside him could be....

He slowly opened his eyes and met the eyes of Roy Mustang as he leaned over him, his hands securing his wrists to the bed, his face inches from his own. "It's okay, Ed," he whispered in a more gentle tone than he has ever heard the man use.

He was panting as though he'd run a mile, sweat dripping down the sides of his face, feeling little aches all over his body. The pain had felt so real....

He closed his eyes and relaxed in Roy's hold and tried to move his legs only to realize that they'd become tangled in the sheets of the bed. "'S okay," he gasped, "Just a … nightmare. You don't have to be... here... any more."

Roy froze and he wondered if he'd said something wrong. But the Colonel starts laughing, genuinely laughing, and he wondered, slightly happy that he made him laugh, why.

He opened his eyes again and saw Roy in the faint light of the moon shinning through the window of the room. "What?" he said breathlessly, defensive.

"Where do you think you are, Edward?" he questioned, a smile twitching on his lips. He loosened his hold on the blond's wrists before withdrawing, sitting back down in the wooden chair next to the bed and crossing his legs.

He gazed around in confusion. A black bedspread was across his legs, a small wooden desk against the wall, a door, mostly likely leading to a bathroom, on the other side of the room, a painting on the wall; this wasn't his room.

As immediately as he realized this, his face flushed and he tried to sit up so as to more easily avoid Mustang's eyes. "Ed, wait!"

He turned to face Roy even as he pressed his hands against the bed to hoist himself into a sitting position and immediately regreted it when he ended up putting pressure onto his damaged hand.

"GODDAMMIT!" he yelped, cradling his injured hand to his chest. Mustang reached out as though to comfort him but his shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. After a little while, in which Edward was glaring at him and Roy was desperately trying not to smile, he rested his hand on the blond's forearm, close to his wrist.

"Let me look," he said and Ed turned his head away stubbornly, sure his cheeks must be pink.

"No," he replied petulantly, not caring if he's acting childish.

"Edward," Mustang warned, and Ed wondered how he could make his voice so threatening and warm at the same time. It's not fair.

Without looking, he stretched his arm out and felt Roy gently touching his flesh through the thick bandage, even turning his hand over. He squirmed from the man's touch, embarrassed and unsure how to hide it.

"Well, you didn't reopen the wound and it doesn't appear to be bleeding again," he said after a few minutes, but instead of giving Edward his hand back, merely rested his own over it by the blond's side.

He fidgeted uncomfortably under Roy's gaze and felt something stir within him.

"So..." Mustang started, leaning forward to put his elbow on Ed's pillow and resting his chin in his hand.

Edward both loved and hated that this violated his personal space and made no move to lean away.

"What were you dreaming about?"

The blond alchemist felt himself getting more angry than usual. "None of your business, nosy bastard."

He heard the man hum thoughtfully. "Actually, I'm sure it is seeing as you're in my house, in my bed, using up my first aid supplies, and seeing as I'm caring for you in general. You owe me, Edward."

He opened his mouth to argue the point but found himself sighing instead. He hated being indebted to people. "Fine," he grumbled, " It was a bad dream."

"I already knew that. What was it about?"

Silence filled the room as Mustang waited for his answer.

He went with the least embarrassing one he could give because there was no way in hell he was going to admit that he'd been dreaming about the man right next to him, holding his hand and staring so intently at him.

"Marionette," he whispered reluctantly.

He didn't look at Mustang, staring at everything else in the room to end up focused on the shadowed painting.

The bed suddenly dipped slightly to the side and, startled, he looked to see Mustang climbing into bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" he squeaked.

He settled himself beside Edward and he could feel the warmth radiating from the other man and knew by now that his skin must be on fire. "Well, it is _my_ bed," he drawled, smirking at him.

Despite the fact that it's a huge bed, bigger than his has ever been, Roy laid right next to him, his thigh brushing against his and their hands still loosely clasped.

And even though the man was so close, he felt strangely comfortable.

But not enough to get to sleep. No, that would be to easy for him.

After what seemed like an hour he felt Roy's hand let go of his and tried not to feel disappointed only to have his eyes fly open in surprise when the other man looped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him flush against his side.

He stilled, his eyes wide open and unblinking. He was on his side, his head resting against Mustang's chest, his cheek resting on the man's white button-down shirt, the Colonel's arm keeping him there.

Something soft brushed against his hair and he almost jumped before realizing that Roy kissed the top of his head. "Go to sleep, Fullmetal."

He stayed still, his body rigid and heard the Colonel sigh. But after a few minutes he couldn't help but relax, Roy's rhythmic breathing seeming soothing somehow. And he could hear his heartbeat.

Half asleep, he snuggled into Roy's side and the Colonel smiled, resting his cheek on the blond's head before letting his own eyes close.


	13. Chapter 13

He woke up some time in the middle of the night and focused on Roy's rhythmic breathing, feeling strangely uneasy. His eyes darted around the darkened room in a practiced motion, scanning for a threat.

He had learned the hard way over the years and listened to his instincts.

They usually let him know when shit was about to hit the fan.

But he could see nothing lurking in the shadows and save for the gentle chirping of crickets outside, couldn't hear anyone either.

Most people would be happy that someone wasn't trying to kill them in the middle of night. That they were safe and sound in their beds, because who would ever want to harm them?

Edward wasn't most people and was under no such illusion.

So instead of feeling peaceful and comforted by the fact that he could see no one there in the darkness waiting for the strategic moment to kill him he got pissed off. He _knew _someone was there. Could feel it somehow, eyes in the shadows tracking his every small movement.

And that pissed him off even more.

He didn't believe in ghosts for fuck's sake.

He shifted under the comforter and was momentarily distracted when the Colonel threw an arm across his stomach and pulled him close.

He flushed, embarrassed by the close contact, and bristled when he heard the whisper of a laugh.

Sweat broke out on his skin and he shivered, despite feeling overheated all of a sudden. What was wrong with him? He panted, feeling each breath drag through his lungs with more difficulty as the room seemed to grow uncomfortably warm. He closed his eyes as a wave of nausea washed over him....

_There's a flash of sparkling white light shot through with streaks of gold, barely noticeable in the bright sunlight. A small figure forms from the ground slowly, twisting and molding itself between two tiny hands. With a happy laugh he picks up the little clay horse, cradling it in both hands as he takes off across the lawn, the dry air brushing his bangs from his forehead._

" _Mom!"_

_She turns to him, giving him a soft smile, a small blue shirt in one hand, the various shirts and pants hanging from the clothesline behind her swaying gently in the breeze._

"_Yes, Edward?" Her loose ponytail rests on one shoulder obscuring one eye partly from view but the other gazes at him, twinkling._

"_Look what I made!" he exclaims triumphantly, lifting the horse over his head so she can see._

_She laughs and Edward feels himself grinning happily. She reaches down and extracts the horse from his hands carefully, as though it were a priceless treasure. "What a good boy. You've certainly got your father's genes, Ed."_

_Still smiling she suddenly stretches her arm out to the side, smashing the figure against the trunk of the tree by their house, smearing dirt across the bark and the small blond feels the smile drop from his face, his eyes wide as his mother steps forward, the dirt on her hand turning red and falling away in small clumps._

"_It's just a shame you didn't have enough talent to bring me back, dear Eddy."_

_The smile that twist her lips is sinister and she throws back her head, her hair shifting so that her other eye is visible, a vivid dark purple. _

_She laughs wildly, little flecks of blood appearing on her lips as she doubles over, coughing. He stumbles away from her, his legs feeling heavy, his body numb._

_Her coughs grow more violent until her body is wracked with them. Blood pours from her mouth sluggishly, quickly staining her pink shirt and white apron._

_Suddenly her body hunches over and Ed gives a small whimper, terror making him freeze, as Alphonse takes her place, his little face filled with hatred. _

_He trips over something behind him, a root, and falls onto his bottom, staring transfixed his little brother, standing before him, his violet eyes glinting in the sunlight, his skin a sickly pale color._

"_It's all your fault, brother. I'll never stop blaming you. It's all your fault!" he screams and Edward feels tears streaking down his face._

_Hastily he tries to scramble backwards, pulling up tufts of grass in a panic. A firm hand on his shoulder stops him and he squeezes his eyes shut, his body tensing as nails dig painfully into his shoulder._

"_Whether or not you take the test is up to you," Mustang says mockingly in his ear, his voice harsh and cruel. He sobs into his hands, wishing he were dead as the ground falls away and those hands dig into his shoulder so slowly, breaking the skin and drawing a wail from him._

_He's falling into nothing, those hands dragging him down as he struggles, a loud roaring in his ears--_

"No!" he yelled, jerking upright, his hand throbbing with pain. He glanced around the room quickly as Mustang stirred behind him.

"What... the … hell?" the blond gasped, his body shaking.

"What's wrong?"

He both admired and hated that Roy's voice was sharp, his eyes instantly alert as he scanned the room himself.

"It's nothing," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

He didn't want to break down in front of Mustang. He couldn't.

"Of course, I'm sure you wake up screaming all the time," the raven haired alchemist deadpaned.

Edward looked away because he was sure that Mustang didn't want to hear an answer to that; ignoring the fact that his skin was slick with sweat and why the hell was it so _hot_ in the room?

"Edward?" Roy whispered and he made a conscious effort to focus on his face in the faint moonlight.

What he saw he didn't like.

The Colonel's face was carefully composed, a perfect mask of serenity, but his eyes held the same tinge of panic that Ed had seen when he--

Oh, shit.

Not _again_.

He cursed his body even as he slumped back onto the mattress and struggled to breath through the thick overwhelming smell of roses. His eyes rolled back into his head as he felt Roy's finger's at his neck, taking his pulse, and everything went dark again.


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

_Hello. Hopefully this chapter will be better. Thanks to all reviewers!!_

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

He passed in and out of consciousness, floating through different dreams and memories until they melded together in a blur of distant conversations and made up visions.

In some dreams he was with Alphonse and Mom and they looked so happy, smiling and carefree. But they always changed, his little brother raging about how much he hated him, his mother crying blood.

But he preferred these dreams to the other ones.

In them he was surrounded by a heavy darkness that pressed down on him, choking the air from his lungs as a high-pitched feminine voice laughed quietly nearby.

He was only vaguely aware that he was dreaming at all. He felt disconnected from his body, hazily feeling the covers shift against his body when he moved, tossing fitfully. He could feel a wet cloth on his forehead and sometimes thought he heard the colonel speaking to him through the laughter ringing in his ears, his voice softer than he had ever heard. But he was probably imagining it.

His shoulder was burning and he felt exhausted even as he sunk deeper into sleep and passed into another dream.....

He shot up in bed, the cloth slipping from his forehead to land in his lap. The sheets were twisted around his legs but he ignored that as he thrashed, desperate to escape from the visions.

_Alphonse struggled with the dark tendrils that seeped from the gate, wrapping around his legs and arms they dragged him slowly backwards._

"_B-brother!" he cried, his face pale and frightened. "Don't let them take me!"_

_He reached out but his hand was shaking. He had done this before, he knew it. He had looked into the darkness of the gate without hesitation to save his little brother. So why was he suddenly terrified?_

_He opened his mouth to scream but only a strangled whimper managed to pass his lips._

_And all the while Alphonse was losing himself to the gate as first his feet disappeared, then his legs, and his torso and his face was so scared as he tried to pull himself out. Edward could see his eyes, see the faint spark of hope in them._

_And that killed him more than anything._

_That he still believed that his older brother would save him, that everything would be alright._

_I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. _

_Finally his brother disappeared completely and the doors swung closed. The blond was left alone, surrounded by an empty white._

_He couldn't even cry._

"_A-al?!"_

_Something was different. Even as he gazed hopelessly at the stone doors of the gate he felt something soft against his cheek. Someone exhaled a soft breath against his hair and he shivered. He was both there and somewhere else..._

"_Ed!"_

_He blinked and found it hard to open his eyes again..._

"Edward!"

With a jolt of panic he suddenly found himself awake, his eyes already open and staring blankly across the room. He was sitting in Mustang's lap on the bed and the colonel's arms were wrapped around him, trapping his arms to his sides, his face half-buried in Edward's hair.

"What happened?" Ed rasped, wincing at the pain that came from his throat. It felt as though he had been screaming for hours.

" You've been asleep for a full day. You almost stopped breathing." Roy's tone was carefully controlled and gave nothing away but his voice shook slightly as he finished.

A day? He had been drifting through nightmares for a _day_? Did Alphonse know? Where was his little brother?

" Hawkeye called when I didn't come into work. I explained the situation to her and she promised she would tell Alphonse."

Relief flooded through Edward's body and he relaxed in the colonel's embrace for a moment.

None of it had actually happened. He understood that, knew, rationally, that it could've never happened in the first place but it had felt so _real_. And the look on his little brother's face.....

He shuddered and felt himself blush as Roy tightened his hold.

" Now I would like to ask you the same question, Edward. What happened?"

His body trembled as he felt Roy's breath ghost across his flushed skin, and almost as though reading his thoughts, he felt the man press his lips gently to his shoulder.

"It was just a nightmare. It was nothing." he managed to reply from his sore throat.

He didn't like being vulnerable in front of others. Especially not Mustang.

" Is this nothing?" Roy's voice was quiet but angry as he gently pulled the sleeve of his tank top down. Ed gazed at his shoulder, shocked.

Five angry red lines tore down his skin. As though someone had grabbed him.

"I don't know how that happened," he whispered truthfully. His body sagged in the colonel's hold and he felt so _exhausted. _

Roy loosened his grip and gently pushed the blond onto his back, getting out of the bed before drawing the covers over him. "Go to sleep, Ed." Mustang smirked and he felt a few pinpricks of anger stab at him but was too tired to respond as his eyes roamed around the room and Roy entered the bathroom.

His eyes were half open when he noticed it. The door to the bedroom was cracked, barely open, and the wood was splintered on the door jamb to the imprint of five fingers.

Someone had gripped the paneling so hard that the wood had fractured.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

_Guesses on who anybody?_

_Sorry for any errors._

_:)_

_Song I was listening to: I Believe in A Thing Called Love by The Darkness._


	15. Chapter 15

_Hello again. Sorry I've been gone so long. Thank you to all my amazing reviewers!!!_

* * *

Edward awoke to find the sun streaming into the room from the window across from the bed. He scowled as the sunlight hit his eyes and buried his face into his pillow.

Stupid annoying sun.

He breathed in deeply as he snuggled into the bed, pulling the comforter around him until he was cocooned.

"It figures that you would take all the blankets."

The blond's eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. The room seemed to spin around him and suddenly, with a dull thud, he hit the floor. Ed stared up at the ceiling, feeling completely foolish as heard Roy's laugh echo through the room.

He blinked as he saw Mustang peer over the side of the bed. The raven haired man smirked as he extended a hand toward Edward. "Need any help?"

Ed made a point of ignoring him as he, much more carefully, sat up and immediately winced, putting a hand to his aching head.

"Are you alright?" Mustang asked, and he could hear the worry lacing his tone.

"Ugh," he grunted in reply, slowly pushing himself up and off the floor so he could sit at the edge of the bed.

The blonde felt exhausted; as though he'd just fought fifty chimeras with only his bare hands.

"Edward?"

Ed let himself flop onto his back but managed to shoot a weak glare at Roy who was looking at him expectantly, concerned.

"How do you feel?" the colonel queried and the blonde alchemist could swear he saw the man's lips twitch as though fighting a smile. He narrowed his eyes.

"Fucking fantastic," he gushed in a fake overawed voice before continuing in a growl, "How the fuck do you think I feel?"

This time the colonel did smile and Ed felt momentarily star struck as he saw the genuine smile light up the man's face, his eyes seeming to sparkle. He forced himself to look away and glare at the window.

He heard rustling and felt Roy's weight disappear as he stood. Ed shifted his gaze to watch the colonel as he put on his jacket and smoothed his hands down the front of his pants. He felt like blushing but couldn't find the energy.

"Ed," Roy's soft voice penetrated the blonde's hazy mind and he made an effort to focus, " I have to go now but I'll be back around noon."

"Okay." Edward nodded and then giggled because the room shimmered. Roy frowned.

Ed stood, trying to push past his lightheadedness and reached for his signature red coat that was draped over the back of a wooden chair by the bed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a large basin filled with water on the nightstand and a small rag next to it. He wondered idly if Mustang had stayed up most of the night to watch over him and had to stifle a laugh and the absurd idea.

He was momentarily distracted when he reached out to grab his jacket and felt the sunlight touch the back of his flesh hand, warming his cool skin. He shivered but marveled at the sensation.

Ed blinked when he suddenly found that Roy had caught his wrist and let his gaze travel up to lock with the colonel's obsidian eyes.

"You are not to leave the house," he instructed firmly, the tone of his voice leaving no room for arguments. "You are to rest until I come back. Is that clear?"

Edward considered this. "It should be," he admitted doubtfully.

Roy sighed. "Go back to bed," he ordered and Edward smiled at him as he let himself fall backwards. He bounced when he hit the bed but didn't even try to crawl up to snatch a pillow, instead he turned onto his side closed his eyes.

For a moment there was silence and he wondered why Roy wasn't leaving but then he heard the faint sounds of Mustang's black boots scuffing against the floor and he grinned.

He waited about twenty minutes, or what felt like twenty minutes because he really couldn't tell, before he bounded out of bed and hastily put on his jacket before unsteadily making his way to the door.

A very small part of his mind was alarmed at his behavior and he knew it wasn't normal but the larger part of his mind was in a fog and he decided that he should visit his little brother and that it was a perfectly nice day for a one mile or so walk to the little apartment they had. After all he had never been able to sit still for very long and what would a walk do? Kill him?

He passed by the small mirror hung up in the hallway as he descended down the stairs to the front door.

Had he spared a passing glance for the image he would have found reflected in the glass he would have been too horrified to venture outside.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

When he reached their place he practically skipped his way into the house, bouncing right into Alphonse.

"Brother?" he ventured uncertainly.

"Yep," Edward replied cheerfully as he made his way into the kitchen.

He opened the fridge door and peered at the contents inside. What to use, what to use? He knew there wasn't much hope seeing as Alphonse liked to clean but he hoping that there may have been something moldy or disgusting his little brother had forgotten to throw out. He hummed as he fished through the shelves.

"Mustang called and said you would be home tomorrow."

"Change in plans," Ed said absentminded and he almost cheered when he found the perfect thing.

He grabbed the bottle out of the fridge, studying it intently.

"Hey, Al?" he called, "Didn't this go bad yesterday?"

The blonde looked up to see his little brother shift guilty, his armor clanking. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot...."

Edward waved away his apology and grinned down at his prize. "I'll be back later, okay?"

He bolted out the door before Alphonse could say another word.

His little brother shook his head in disbelief as he closed the fridge door.

Edward Elric willingly taking milk out of the fridge was one of the scariest things he had ever seen.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Sorry it's so short. Maybe if I get lots of reviews I will update quicker? Who knows? :)_

_Lot's of questions to be answered. Why is Ed acting like he's intoxicated? What would he have seen in the mirror? And most importantly, why on earth does he have MILK?!_

_All will be answered in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed._

_Song I was listening to: Shut Up by Simple Plan_


	16. Chapter 16

Edward couldn't quite bring himself to care about anything much as he strolled up the steps to Headquarters. He whistled as he passed by Sheska, ignoring her frantic attempts to get him to stop.

"Ed! Sir! Please, I need to see your watch! Edward!"

The blonde felt a little sorry for her but with a single minded determination he kept walking down the hall. He tried to keep the grin off his face as he slid one hand into the pocket of his jacket and felt the cool glass of the milk bottle meet his touch.

A hand enclosed around the fabric at his elbow and tugged so that he was forced to stop.

"What is it?" Ed asked, exasperated, as he looked behind him to see a worried Sheska, her glasses askew and her face tinged pink.

Dammit, he didn't have time for this. He was only here for one reason and one person. His hand tightened around the neck of the milk bottle, still perfectly hidden from view in his pocket.

"Sir?" She faltered as she stared into his eyes and he wondered why she looked so panicked all of a sudden.

She opened her mouth, her eyes wide when a smooth voice interrupted her.

"Is there a problem miss?"

Ed's head snapped forward and his eyes locked with those of John, who was staring at Sheska in an expectant way.

He felt her cringe by his side and immediately bristled with anger. "What the hell do you what?" Edward demanded and felt rage stab at him as John merely smiled. There was something unnerving about the way this guy smiled, as though he was in on some secret Ed had no clue about. And it pissed him off.

"I was only trying to help you. It seems you passed the checkpoint without verifying your identification."

John's eyes narrowed as he smiled again and Ed made an effort not to shudder.

"Yeah, well I've worked here for a while. I don't need to." He shook off Sheska's loose grip on his arm and glared at the man before him.

"Yes, well," he said and his eyes moved casually down Edward's body before roving back up to meet Ed's stare. "I'll be going then. I do hope we meet again soon, _Edward_."

He turned and strode down the hallway and around the corner and the blonde took a deep breath as he tried to calm his rage. This guy was definitely headed for an ass kicking if he didn't knock off whatever he was playing at.

_Edward_.

This time he couldn't stop the shiver that made it's way up his body. The way the guy had said his name was unsettling.

When Roy said it, his name carried a hint of warmth and made him feel a little safer. Not that he would admit that unless under torture though.

When Winry said it, his name was often meant as a warning and gave him approximately five seconds to hit the ground before he ended up flat on his back with a lump on his head and a wrench next to him.

When Al said it, his name was a source of family and comfort.

But when John said it his name seemed more like a threat ....

He shook his head, trying vainly to dispel the fog in his mind. What was wrong with him?

"Sir?" The brunette's voice trembled and Ed felt a little bad for her. It was probably her first time she had met that creep.

He turned toward her and she gave him a small bow, apologizing and sounding as though she was about to cry.

He told her it was okay and turned to walk away.

He never heard her whisper that maybe he should lie down. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was off with the fiery blonde alchemist Amestris had grown to love.

---------------------

Ed pushed through the doors and didn't give a damn that everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him. Hawkeye cleared her throat and immediately everyone set to work again except for Havoc who was lightening another cigarette and staring at Edward with open interest.

He saw Marionette scowl as she slid off her perch on Roy's desk. She walked forward, taking small dainty steps as though she were used to people watching her and stopped in front of Edward, making a point of bending down so that they were face to face.

"Hello dear," she said sweetly, sweeping her long black hair behind her shoulder, " Roy honey told me you wouldn't be in today, didn't you dear?" She looked over her shoulder at Mustang whose face had gone white. He was staring at Ed with unveiled anger and the blonde could swear he heard a small crack when the Colonel's hand tightened around the pen he was holding.

"I'm so glad to see you're doing better," she continued, sounding bored. "I do hope you had _pleasant dreams_ while you were resting."

Her eyes flashed violent and for a moment Edward felt as though he were ten again, his arm and leg gushing blood as he staring into that_ thing's_ eyes, terrified.

His grip tightened on the bottle.

She looked down her nose at him and smiled arrogantly.

"Of course, maybe short people get better faster?" she said aloud, with fake wonder in her voice.

Edward grinned.

He pulled the bottle of milk out of his pocket and presented it to her as though it were a highly treasured gift, his finger brushing inconspicuously over the small transmutation circle on it's side.

She stared down at the bottle in her hands suspiciously and Edward's smile grew wider.

_3_

Marionette fixed him with a glare, nonplussed.

_2_

He took a small step back

_1_

The bottle in her hands exploded, showering her in white fluid and small bits of glass. She blinked, milk dripping into her eyes before rearing back and screaming. Havoc was behind her in an instant, restraining her arms as she leaned toward Ed, murder flashing in her eyes.

"You little bastard," she sputtered, "I'll kill you!"

With some help from Breda, Havoc managed to pull her out the door and into the hallway, her screams still echoing in the room.

After a minute of silence Ed saw Mustang beckon to him and he made his way to his desk, wondering why he felt so hazy still.

"Do you have any idea what you've done Edward? If she pulled the right strings she could have you kicked out of the military," Mustang said quietly.

Ed snorted. He'd like to see her try.

"Why do I feel so loopy?" Edward blurted out suddenly. He blinked. Apparently his mouth had run off without him knowing.

Roy rolled his eyes irritably. "Probably after effects from the medication. I had a doctor come to my house while you were unconscious to make sure you were okay. He gave you a dose of medicine and warned me that it might be a little strong for you. Which is why you were supposed _to stay in bed_."

The blonde could feel his mouth hanging open, his anger rising.

"You had a doctor come near me with needles while I was sleeping?" he screeched in disbelief.

"I had to. You obviously aren't alright--"

"I don't care! Why did you even call a doctor in the first place?! I was fine!"

"No you weren't!"

They stared at each other over the desk, both of them slightly out of breath.

"I had to," Roy repeated softly, "you were screaming in your sleep."


	17. Chapter 17

The blonde opened his mouth and watched Roy's eyes narrow, a stormy expression crossing the Colonel's face as he waited for Ed to speak.

Not that Edward knew what he was going to say yet. Though he was pretty sure it would involve the words 'fuck' and 'you'.

The door, which had been closed after Marionette had been dragged out kicking and screaming, flew open.

"Edward Elric!" a loud voice boomed behind the blonde alchemist and Edward had time to think _'Shit'_ before large muscled arms were crushing him against a firm chest, squeezing the air from his lungs forcefully.

Ed blinked stars from his vision and unsuccessfully tried to breathe as Armstrong swung him from side to side in a violent hug.

"Can't... breathe...," he managed to gasp and immediately he was set on his feet again, released from the Major's death grip. He swayed for a moment as air was returned to his lungs and felt his hand throb.

And for a moment it all seemed like to much: the nightmares, the lack of sleep, the medication, the loss of blood; all adding up so that the room started to darken around the edges of his vision and he wondered if he would become acquainted with the floor at any second.

But a hand touched the small of his back, steadying him, and he turned his head slightly to see Mustang gazing at him with open concern before focusing his attention on Armstrong.

"Yes Major?" Roy asked quietly. Ed's eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the Colonel. Roy sounded beyond angry. But he _never _got angry at Armstrong. Exasperated, yes. Feared, definitely. But never angry. Why?

"We've found another one, sir," Armstrong said, and Edward noticed how all the joviality in the Major's voice had disappeared.

Mustang swore, his hand dropping from Ed's back so that he could turn and walk around his desk. He plopped unceremoniously into his chair and shook his head tiredly.

"Female?"

The Major nodded.

"Damn. Do we have an ID on the body yet? Where was she found?"

Edward shuffled forward, confused, and saw Armstrong glance at him as he continued, " Her name was Sarah Mattison and she was seventeen years old. They found her in an alley near here. She has the same marks as the other victims."

"What other victims?" Ed blurted out, "What are you talking about?"

The Major looked at him and opened his mouth hesitantly but was cut off by the Colonel.

"No. Fullmetal, you are going _home_," and by _home_ the blonde could tell he meant Roy's house,"and you are to rest."

"No," Ed stated stubbornly, "Not until you tell me what's going on."

Roy smiled wryly. "I believe you are under the impression that this is a suggestion. Let me clarify. This is an order, Fullmetal. Go home."

Edward gave him a nasty smile. "No. You can't make me."

Okay, so that was pretty childish, but, _goddammit,_ he was not a patient person and he didn't like being kept in the dark either.

In a flash Roy was out of his seat and around the desk, looming in front of Ed. Startled, the alchemist tried to take a step back but Mustang's hand shot forward and grabbed him by his right arm, his fingers tightening so that Ed was sure he'd have bruises.

Without looking at him, the Colonel marched forward, dragging Edward behind him. The dark haired alchemist opened the door and strode into the hallway, barely pausing when Ed tripped.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Edward yelled, stumbling along when Roy picked up his pace."Let go of me!" He tried in vain to pry Mustang's fingers from his wrist but only succeeded in making the Colonel pull him along faster.

Another door was opened and the blonde blinked against the harsh fluorescent lights that filled his vision before he was shoved forward, his stomach hitting something hard and cool. Before he could step back Mustang pressed up against him from behind, his hands settling on Edward's. The blonde alchemist gripped the basin of the sink in front of him and tried not to shiver when Roy shifted.

"Look Edward," Roy whispered to him and Edward unwillingly dragging his gaze up to meet his reflection.

What he saw shocked him. His hair looked greasy and unkept, hanging down limply over his shoulders. His face was pale and haggard and he looked decidedly skinnier. With something close to disbelief Ed realized he couldn't remember the last time he had actually eaten anything and, as if to reaffirm this, his stomach gave a weak grumble. But the worst were his eyes. They were a darker shade of gold than usual and for a moment Ed could swear they flashed violet. He gasped and it was gone, his eyes the same pure yellow they had always been.

Mustang's hands lifted from Ed's before slowly wrapping around his waist. Edward, dazed, barely noticed, too struck by how sick he looked.

"Now go home," Roy said softly and Ed nodded dumbly.

With a sigh, the raven haired man let his hold drop and exited the bathroom. Edward gave a shaky sigh before following.

He didn't see Roy again as he walked down the hallways and made his way downstairs.

He was so caught up in what he had seen and still so hazy from the medication that he had been unknowingly administered that he never noticed the cold eyes that followed his progress out the door and the dark chuckle that was emitted once the they had swung closed.


	18. Chapter 18

Patience had never been one of her strong suits but she managed just barely to stay where she was as she watched Eddy walk out of the building in a daze.

Milk dripped from her in a steady stream, staining her military issue shirt and her favorite blue skirt, to land in a growing puddle gathering at her feet. Marionette grimaced as she felt the liquid seep into her collar and dribble into her eyes.

Brushing milk from her eyes irritably, she glared at the closed glass doors. That little fucker would pay for making her look like this. She would see to it personally.

Marionette glanced around the room carefully, trying to be inconspicuous about it. From the unconcerned expressions on all the guard's and staff's faces she gathered they weren't keeping tabs on her anymore. In fact, she was sure they had lost interest in her the moment she had pretended to settle down and forced a smile past stiff lips.

She snorted with disgust. So much for being the best Amestris had to offer.

She waited another moment, just to be sure, before she headed towards those glass doors. Once she was outside, the warmth of mid day enveloping her, she turned the in the same direction she had seen the blonde rat go.

As she walked she entertained thoughts of revenge. She couldn't wait for the moment she would see the little faggot's eyes widen with terror because of her and she relished in the thought of hearing his screams, crying pitifully for help that wouldn't come. She would make sure of it.

A hand shot out of the shadows from the alley she was passing and grabbed her by her arm, dragging her in.

Marionette didn't scream, but a muffled gasp passed her lips before a cold hand was slapped over her mouth. She could've rolled her eyes but settled for sighing mentally instead. She wasn't afraid for herself. The dumb asshole that had grabbed her would be in for an unpleasant surprise.

As she was thinking about how to worm away, the arm around her midsection tightened, drawing her further into the shadows and pressing her against a thin chest. Someone's head rested on her shoulder and a small lock of white hair tickled her cheek.

She had been in the process of twisting one arm to the side to that she could brush her hand against the exposed skin of her attacker but once she saw the white strands of hair cross her vision she tensed, frozen, her eyes narrowing with anger.

"I've missed you, Mary," a cold voice whispered into her ear and this time she did roll her eyes and shrugged too.

Marionette pulled her lips back and sunk her small sharp teeth into the soft skin of the palm over her mouth. The hand slowly pulled away and she saw with satisfaction that red liquid was seeping sluggishly from the crescent mark of her teeth embedded into the skin.

She turned as she was released and glared at John, who smiled at her. It was meant to be a soft smile, she was sure, but it looked hard and cold. She wasn't surprised. She knew John had no heart.

"I told you I'd find you, Mary. I told you that we could never be separated."

The patronizing tone he used with her pissed her off to no ends.

"And I believe I told you to fuck off, dear," she snarled.

His eyes narrowed as the smile slid off his face, his purple eyes flashing sparks of anger at her. "You are coming me with me, Mary. You were taken from me once. Never again. That black haired man cannot have you."

He reached for her again but she darted past his grasp, her eyes lighting up as an idea struck her.

"But he already has me, darling. It's such a shame though. He's taken me and left you with nothing and, yet, he still wants more." She gave a dramatic sigh and looked down at her feet as though depressed. She glanced up from under her eyelashes to study his expression. He was curious. Perfect.

"He's in love with the little blonde boy. You know, Edward? And Eddy is smitten with him, I can tell. It's a little funny when you think about it though. I mean, he gets to have Edward while you are left with nothing." She gave a tittering laugh at the the thunderous look on John's face.

John seemed to realize that his face was conveying his anger and, after a deep breath, schooled his features into the same dispassionate mask he had held previously.

"Not for long," John hissed, walking past her. " I won't allow it."

She giggled as he left the alleyway to stride down the same path she had been walking. The same path that would lead to Eddy's apartment.

Perfect. Just perfect, she thought happily to herself.


	19. Chapter 19

_In response to all the reviews: Yes, I know the last chapter was short. It was suppose to be. And besides I don't really like Mary's POV. Her mind is not a happy place to be T_T_

_Big hugs for:_

_Greenbucket5: all will become clear sooner or later, don't worry._

_XXSMiZXx: Yea, I do cliffhangers A LOT X3_

_XxForest-DragonxX: It gets better ;)_

_lost-cause331: Thanks for the review. You shouldn't avoid homework. Who am I kidding, I avoid it all the time XD_

_bluecrystal angel: that's good to hear_

_Wateria88: Thanks for the review_

_We're back to Ed's POV in this chapter, k?_

* * *

He felt more like a ghost than a person as he drifted down the sidewalk, nameless faces passing him by. He realized that he must look like shit to them. He wondered if they could tell how broken he really was.

The sun was beating down on his back, drawing a few beads of sweat from his flushed skin. He vainly tried to brush them away, his thoughts distant, focused on a certain raven haired man and the color purple, when he saw her.

There was a girl standing in the middle of a crowd of people bustling to and fro. She seemed to be only a year or so older than him, with long wavy brown hair that just reached her waist and extremely pale skin, almost chalk white in the gleaming sunlight. From what he could see of her face, her features were plain and simple. A little snub nose and small pale pink lips set in a rounded face. What captured his attention was her expression.

Pure panic and distress pinched her features and her whole body was shaking. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, her hands outstretched, her fingers seeking something and meeting only air.

He knew why immediately. She was blind.

For a moment he pictured his bed back at the apartment. How warm and comfortable it was and how tired he felt. Hell, at this moment he wouldn't even have minded curling up in Mustang's bed.

But he looked back at the girl and saw her struggling to walk forward and crying softly as people passed her by and, with a few well chosen curses, he stomped over to her. Grabbing her arm roughly, he ignored her distressed cry as he dragged her through the crowd and down the road, stopping only when they reached a small patch of grass next to the cobbled street. Edward guided her to the tree in the center, placing her small hand against the bark, before heaving a sigh and sliding down to sit with his back against it.

Her expression smoothed out as her other hand came up to trace the bark with her fingertips, her face schrunching into confusion.

"W-who's there?"she asked softly. Her voice was light and airy.

"Don't worry, I'm with the military. I won't hurt you." He wished he didn't need to explain but it wasn't like she could see the silver pocket watch glinting at his belt.

Carefully she twisted to the side so that her waist was pressed against the tree, before sliding down, her fingers tentatively reaching out and closing around the fabric at his elbow. She leaned against him as she sat and made no move to loosen her hold.

"Who are you?" She sounded a lot calmer now. Good, Ed thought tiredly.

"Edward Elric."

"The state alchemist?"

Edward nodded but then remembered that she couldn't see him. "Yeah," his voice came out raspy and slurred. He shook his head, trying to stay awake.

"I remember you. I used to see you walking down the street sometimes. But you always had a suit of armor with you."

"That's my little brother Alphonse." The shade from the tree casted dappled shadows over them both and, while the heat was still stifling, he felt strangely comfortable where he was now.

"He's your _little _brother?" she said, sounding amazed.

"Problem?" he grumbled, glaring at her.

She giggled and didn't answer, resting her head against his shoulder. A comfortable silence lapsed between them and only the steady sound of breathing from Ed filled it.

He closed his eyes, wondering what he should do about the girl. Did she have any relatives nearby? He couldn't think that they would willingly let her wander around in her condition.

He was broken by his train of thought when he realized that he couldn't feel her next to him. Immediately his head swiveled to the side, his eyes popping open in surprise.

But she was still there, her head leaning against him, her peaceful expression and closed eyes making it look as though she'd fallen asleep.

It was strange but Ed suddenly found that he couldn't feel her at all. And not just that he couldn't feel her head on his shoulder but that the girl gave off no presence. Like she was never even there. He tried to shake off the discomfort that came with the strange feeling .

"So... is your family nearby?" he asked slowly.

She shook her head. "Not anymore," she whispered sadly.

Great Edward, he thought sourly, you made her even more depressed. Well, he'd never been very good with people let alone girls. And he's never exactly won any awards for being tactful.

He glanced at her and saw that the front of her dress was dipped open from her position, exposing the smooth white skin of her clavicle and the dip of her breasts. He flushed and made to look away when something caught his eye.

Edward glanced at her face, feeling guiltily, before leaning closer to get a better look. It wasn't like he was peeping, he was just curious as to what he saw. Just above her breasts there was a pattern etched into her skin. It looked like a jagged heart, the edges frayed and spiraling off to the sides randomly in red ink.

He opened his mouth to ask her about it when it occured to him that she didn't know he was looking down her dress in the first place. He decided he shouldn't say anything.

Which lasted about five minutes. "That's an interesting tattoo."

She stiffened, straightening and pushing away from him, placing one hand against her chest.

"I'm sorry," he stammered, embarrassed, his cheeks heating up.

"Don't worry about it," she said faintly. And when she turned back to him she was smiling brightly.

She leaned toward him again, her hand coming out to rest on his cheek, her mouth at his ear.

"He does care about you, Edward Elric. Trust your heart like you used to."

His eyes widened in shock. What the...?

Before he could ask what the hell she was taking about she stood abruptly and took off, her movements so sure and quick he was almost convinced it was a different girl.

"Wait!" he shouted, "Who are you?!"

She was standing halfway down the street Ed had dragged her down, people milling around her when she turned back. Her smile was soft and brilliant, her skin subtly glowing. Amazed, Edward looked around. He couldn't be the only one seeing this, right? But he was. No one else even glanced at her.

"Sarah." She sounded as though she were right next to him still, as the other noises around him became muted and distant. A man in a suit passed in front of her and Edward blinked.

When he opened his eyes she was gone, leaving him with only one thought.

What the fuck just happened?

* * *

_Yeah, I know, you're all confused. Think about it okay? And you might wanna reread chapter 17 (winks) Sorry for any grammer errors, spelling, etc._

_Any questions just message me k?_

_Song I was listening to: Nothin. I'm so tired right now (yawns)_


	20. Chapter 20

_Hello again. Sorry if this is a little late getting up or short but I actually forgot what day it is. Can you believe that? Lol_

_**Also you may have noticed the rating's changed. There is a reason for that as you will see in this chapter. Not for the squeamish! You have been warned.**_

_Anyway hope you enjoy and that some previously asked questions get answered._

* * *

It was amazing how even though he'd slept for such a long time all Edward wanted to do was crawl back into bed and slip back into blessed unconsciousness. It wasn't like him to be so tired, bone achingly so, and weary. He couldn't explain it but he felt somehow _less. _As though pieces of him were slowly being stripped away, including the mask he kept so carefully cultivated.

Ed trudged forward, blinking from the harsh sunlight, and muttered half hearted apologies to the people he bumped into.

He was so out of it, his mind stuck on the ethereal girl he'd met and wondering who was selling roses this time of year because the air was full of the stench of them, that when he walked into the man clad all in blue, he didn't realize he was a soldier.

"Hey," Edward snapped, rubbing his now sore nose.

The man barely passed him a glance before mentally dismissing him and the blond could almost hear his thought process, _He's too small. Just some kid, _and had to remind himself that punching the man, who obviously needed some sense to be knocked through his head, would land him back in Mustang's office in the blink of an eye.

Something white fluttered out of the corner of his vision and he gazed behind the officer, catching sight of other soldiers milling around a large white tarp, covering a very human shaped bulge, large dark red stain in the middle of it grotesque and vivid.

Before he'd even thought to do so, he'd taken a step forward and was immediately blocked off by the officer he'd crashed into.

"Sorry, little guy. Military only," he said gruffly, and he patted-- _patted_-- Ed on the head.

Edward's whole body twitched in irritation before he let a sickly sweet smile curl his lips. He really shouldn't enjoy what he was about to do but....

The blond dug his hand in his pocket and extracted his sliver state issue watch, holding it out so that it was plainly visible. He let the smile drop. It would give him away if he looked too evil.

"That's okay," he said dismissively, pleased that his voice came out even, " I was just conducting an investigation in this area but I suppose I'll let the Fuhrer know that not only am I not allowed here but that the staff guarding it can't even recognize their superiors let alone their comrades."

The man went pale and started stuttering apologies before practically grabbing Edward and ushering him to the crime scene. The blond waved him away, feeling as though he'd aged ten years.

"What's happened here?" Ed asked another soldier who was studying a file he had open.

The soldier gave him a once over before answering hesitantly, "There's been another murder, sir. Latest in a long rash of killings in the area. All women. All between the ages of sixteen and twenty-five. She was found not two hours ago by a Mr. Jack Mitchell who was walking by--"

Edward kept half his concentration on the litany of facts the soldier was quoting as he hunched down and gripped the rough fabric of the tarp, pulling it back in one quick motion.

Bile immediately rose to his throat and he choked, his brain quickly telling him that what it had revealed wasn't real despite what he could see.

The body of a young teenage girl lay on the ground, her arms spread out awkwardly, her legs skewed. Her torso had been carved open from one neat line starting at her navel and ending just below her breasts, exposing gleaming wet organs and a cracked ribcage. Her head was turned to the side, as though she were looking at him, and his stomach flipped as he realized that her eyelids had been brutally slashed, and that both eyes had been smashed to a pulp in their sockets. A lock of wavy brown hair hair lay gently across one tan cheek.

It wasn't the stench of blood that fled his nostrils nor was it the sight of a body so torn up that had Edward's stomach rebelling or had him feeling lightheaded.

He knew this girl.

_I remember you._

Because he'd met her not fifteen minutes ago, caught in a bustling crowd, hands reaching out for help.

_I used to see you walking down the street sometimes. _

Impossible.

"W- what's her name?" Ed gasped.

"-- haven't contacted the family yet. What? Oh, her name is--"

_Her name was Sarah Mattison and she was seventeen years old._

"-- Sarah Mattison. Seventeen years old. She got the same marks as the other victims as well," the man continued, oblivious to the blond alchemist's suddenly trembling frame.

He stepped forward next to Ed and bent down, pointing at a cut the blond had missed in all the blood.

It was on her chest, a deep continuous cut in the shape of a heart, blood drying in spikes around the wound.

_That's an interesting tattoo._

No. There had to be an explanation for this. He had not seen a ghost.

_Who are you?!_

_Sarah._

He stood on shaky legs and walked away, ignoring the soldier's protests and questions. He kept his mind carefully blank, letting his feet take him where he wanted to go. To who he wanted to see most right now.

_Trust your heart like you used to._

The small apartment came into view, the flowered bushes out front swaying with a subtle breeze.

The blond felt the blood drain from his face. The door was barely hanging from it's hinges, deep gouges cutting through the dark wood and around it. The door's handle was laying halfway down the path.

"Alphonse," he whispered.

* * *

_DUN. DUN. DUN. Lol_

_Review please!_

_Song I was listening to: Semi Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind_


End file.
